• The Dark Spire (DS)

    ...you can likewise disable the button that shows the automap. There are a number of not-so-optional retro elements to the gameplay. Take, for example, weapons and armor. Their effects are...

  • Gamer Girlfriend: Gamer Boyfriend

    ...violating this rule a number of times, so trust me when I say the consequences can be…unpleasant. 7. Openness is a Two-Way Street. If your girl is going to try...

  • [NSFW] Super Mario Bros. 2 (NES)

    ...worlds with a limited number of ways to get in and check. 2. Running for your life from a crazed Djinn mask as you carry a key to your far...

  • Cheat Codes for Life

    ...is because dipshits like you keep buying them. It’s simple economics. Nintendo doesn’t need to worry about discouraging early adopters, since there will be an ample number of dumbasses with...

  • Metroid II: Return of Samus (GB)

    ...so rightly deserved. With the soldiers back at home having little to do, we saw an increase in the number of children being born. Post-war America saw a vast expansion...

  • Dear Readers: Absolutely Real Message Board Posts

    ...number of people with our site tattooed on them and are looking for a few more people who wouldn’t mind the national attention. Come be part of history! Well, that...

  • Cooking Mama (DS)

    ...for screwing up. The minigames range from the mind-numbingly simple (like typing in the correct number on a numeric keypad/cooking timer) to some that require good timing (tapping different ingredients...

  • Cheat Codes for Life

    ...Games are among your favorite. I’m not going to be picky on the number of games, but try to stay around 3-5. Series of games can count as one, if...

  • Inside the Guide: Anticipation and Backgammon

    ...games, you know, a game pak that contains a number of freeware games, like solitaire and free cell. One of the games in the game pak was “Backgammon,” and so...

  • Final Fantasy I (GBA)

    ...was completely lost, wandering around the world and fighting random encounters for so long that I’d achieved TWICE the number of levels that I’d ever need for anything in the...