WE’RE ALL DOOMED
Doom on your state-of-the-art 486 was less a game, more an experience. However, after battling through two episodes, it begins to get a little stale. Up comes the final level of episode two, “Tower of Babel”. “Ho-hum”, you think as you run into an empty arena, “the designers really have given up.” Then your screen turns red and you lose 80% of your health. With a bold exclamation of “What the fuck” you turn to see an ungodly monstrosity, the Cyberdemon. Another rocket promptly smacks you in the face and you die. Enraged, you boot your saved game and ready your rocket launcher. This baby’s goin’ down. Sadly, you underestimate the maneuverability of a 10-foot demon from Hell and get yourself owned again. Third time’s the charm though, as you are victorious after a hide-and-peek 20-minute battle. On to episode three with renewed vigour!
TANKS FOR THE MAIMERIES
Grand Theft Auto 3, then. You’ve almost beaten it and it just keeps throwing great surprises at you out of leftfield. But none so surprising as the Army. Yes, pump up your Wanted Gauge and they send a tank after you. Running like Hell, a thought crosses your mind : “Can I STEAL the TANK?” You try, oh God how you try. And sweet Jesus yes — you CAN! You CAN STEAL THE BLOODY TANK.
…and Liberty City was never quite the same again.