It’s me, your most loyal non-gamer (who, in all honesty, doesn’t quite know what to do with a controller..) As you can see, I wasn’t discouraged by my coin-toss loss to the one other person who entered this contest last month and I’m entering again.
Though it had some good competition (like the pictures of gorgeous Editor in Chief Paul Franzen), Be Careful What You Search For once again stood out as by far the best part of this issue. Will someone please explain to me how some of these searches actually bring up GameCola?
And just to show you how cool I am, here’s my least favorite part, too: I’m still not on the email list. Much distress.
I loved Be Careful What You Search For!!!
More like that!!
Your website has been blocked by Merrill Lynch, so I can’t read Volume 4, Issue 2. Did I win reader of the year or not?
Richard E. Franzen
Return to Castle Wolfenstein: Tides of War (MXB)
I have issues with Return to Castle Wolfenstein: Tides of War, or RtCW:ToW for not-so-short.
This FPS should be fucking excellent. It really should be. But its not. And if that isn’t the damndest thing, I don’t know what is.
Made by Gray Matter. An excellent developer. Based on WWII and Nazis…so far, so good. Ohhh, squeal! And undead experiments solely for Hitler! Yay! But…wait a minute. Seriously, what the fuck?
Why can the human take a hundred rounds of automatic fire straight to the chest before crumpling in a pre-determined fall (you read that right, no rag-doll physics here) yet that zombie took one round to the head and got his shit splattered all over the wall behind him? Why are there still motherfuckin’ rooms that you can’t get into through the door, but there’s explosive barrels on the opposite wall for easy access? Why are the cyber-dogs just hanging out in crates waiting for me? How do they know it’s an American and not a German when I walk by so they can burst out and immediately kill my ass? Why do the Nazis seem to have superhuman seeing and hearing powers and can pick me out behind a crate from about seven miles away? Why, oh lord, why?
Here’s a better question: why waste such an attractive graphics engine on shit like I mentioned above? Hell, I wanted to love this game so much I could taste it. But compared to Halo or Time Splitters 2 or Chronicles of Riddick it just came up short. Sure, I’ll pass it. Probably tonight or tomorrow, but aside from multiplayer I’ll never pick the fucker up again. I mean, I’ll keep it and everything. Just not play it. Alone. Hey, screw you too.
– Travis Combs