My review is going to be short this time. You know why? Because I’m in the presence of evil.
Yep, evil is on my very cell phone. Which means that wherever I go, it will never leave me alone. Unless I hit the delete button, but you know evil—it will not allow you to do such a thing.
It’s been a while since I last played the annoyingly addictive game known as Puzzle Bobble. A while back, my significant other had the misfortune of owning it for the Xbox, thus triggering my penchant for colorful cutesy games that result in me being rooted to that exact spot for hours until I’ve beaten my highest score or the time limit expires. And when I eventually DO beat it?
Why, I start all over again, of course!
It took me years to finally rid myself of the drug that is Tetris. With there being no official rehab for game-related addictions (heck, if there was, it’d be crammed with drooling WoW players…), I finally had to go cold turkey. That is, until I discovered Puzzle Bobble.
If you haven’t seen this game already, it has a very simple concept. Lots of brightly-colored balloon-like balls, popping noises, and cutesy characters you can’t understand but are a nice touch anyway. Point the little arrow at the bottom of the screen toward a ball of your choice to make it bounce toward MORE balls. If it hits three or more of the same color—pop!—down they go. As the time ticks by, the balls already on the screen slowly descend.
The object? To get rid of as many balls as possible before the they fall down faster and you’re fretting and you’re pressing buttons like a maniac and your forehead is sweating and DEAR GOD YOU HAVE TO COMPLETE THIS LEVEL IF IT’S THE LAST GODDAMN THING YOU DO!
See what I mean?
Needless to say, I try to stay away from Puzzle Bobble as though it’s the bubonic plague for fear of another similar ordeal. Any casual gamer who is a sucker for this kind of arcade frivolity will instantly be sucked in. The game will get you, with its colors and balls and…popping sounds. DAMN YOU POPPING SOUNDS!
Whereas Puzzle Bobble, or anything like it, is less of a “serious”‘ game and more of a tool for procrastination, it still is, in all seriousness, fun. Almost TOO fun. It’s cartoony, it’s sweet and it’s fast-paced in that race-against-the-clock way, not unlike Tetris. And another plus is the two-player option, where you can, if you try hard enough, kick your partner’s ass with the amazing ball-poppin’ skillz you’ve just spent four hours honing.
I thought it was over. I seriously did. I thought I’d seen the last of that game—I haven’t been near the Xbox for ages for fear of losing an entire evening to Puzzle Bobble. So quickly, I forgot about it.
That is, until recently—when aforementioned significant other bought me a present: a brand new, super-chic mobile phone.
“Oooh, lookie!” said I, naturally clicking through every little option the phone possessed. “Games!”
I hoped to God there wouldn’t be a mini-Tetris and was relieved when I didn’t see it. However, I was greeted by something else. Something much, MUCH worse.
“BubbleSoccer? What the…”
And on it goes.