Reviews of Virtual Console titles released in April 2008 by Myrtle T. Blinkin, Senior Citizen
Yoshi’s Cookie, Nintendo, NES.
“You’re a nasty boy! Don’t talk about my private area that way. You always leave a snapping turtle caged no matter how badly you want to throw old Mother Hubbard a bone.”
Bases Loaded, Jaleco, NES.
“Loaded!? I’ll bet they’re loaded, like my baked potata! Or my colostomy bag! Eeehahahahaa! Clean my poo bags, suckers!”
April 14th, 2008
Fantasy Zone, Sega, Master System.
“You bet momma’s got a fantasy zone, and she keeps it right here, in her wardrobe. That’s where the ice queen rules with an icy fist that she sticks in your mouth and it’s cold, boy, so cold it’s hot!“
Mega Turrican, Factor 5, Genesis.
“Two cans? No deary, I have three cans. One can of soup and two cans of creamed corn. Would you like some lunch? If you don’t like creamed corn, I can make you the soup. It’s corn chowder!”
April 21st, 2008
River City Ransom, Aksys Games, NES,
“Right here in River City! And that rhymes with G! I so loved that play as a little girl. Then the war came. The play decided to fight for the South and killed my gran-pappy, so I didn’t love it any more. I couldn’t love it any more.”
Phantasy Star III: Generations of Doom, Sega, Genesis.
“I’ll say. Your generation is doomed with your bobby socks and your telly-vision sets and your monster trucks that roam free across the prairies. It’s a damned shame I tell you, a damned shamey shame shame shame damny damn.”
April 28th, 2008
Double Dragon, Aksys Games, NES.
“Isn’t one dragon bad enough? You have to have two dragons? You kids are spoiled and lazy! In my day, I had to work in a rock factory for 90 hours a week when I was nine just to buy half a dragon.”