Reviews of Virtual Console titles released in July 2008 by Myrtle T. Blinkin, Senior Citizen
July 7th, 2008
King of the Monsters, D4 Enterprise, Neo Geo.
“You kids and your rock ‘n’ roll. Whatever happened to greasy grimy gopher guts? GREASY GRIMY GOPHER GUTS!? DIRTY LITTLE BIRDY FEET!?!?!?”
July 14th, 2008
Donkey Kong 3, Nintendo, NES.
“When I was a young lad, he whisked me away to the top of the Sears Tower and held me captive high atop San Francisco! Eventually I was shot down by a plane and Monkey Khan had to save me.”
Ninja Commando, D4 Enterprise, Neo Geo.
“I command the ninjas around here, and if they don’t go upstairs right this instance and brush their hands and wash their teeth I’ll give them such a whoopin’!”
July 21st, 2008
Gley Lancer, Sega, Sega Genesis.
“I never met anyone named Lance. I bet they would be gay with a name like that. Or Kip. Or Louis. I know your name is Louis, honey; that’s how we all knew.“
Super Fantasy Zone, Sega, Sega Genesis.
“There is only one man in my super fantasy zone and that’s Teddy Roosevelt. That’s a fine gentleman who knows how to take a lady out on the town. I wonder what he’s doing this weekend! Wee-hoo!”
July 28th, 2008
Chase H.Q., Taito, TurboGrafx-16.
“I used to know J.P. Morgan. His middle name was Pierpont, but we always called him Pee Pants because of that time he wet himself playing stick ball. Oh, how karma makes fools of us all. I just wet myself.”
Art of Fighting 2, D4 Enterprise, Neo Geo.
“Lavender is the most widely used and safest essential oil for sensitive skin. It does not cause irritation! People need to do their research!“