Reviews of Virtual Console titles released in August 2008 by Myrtle T. Blinkin, Senior Citizen
August 4th, 2008
Sonic the Hedgehog, Sega, Master System. 
“Those GOD DAMN hedgehogs are always eating my turnips. Ooooh, if I catch one, I will make you a hedgey sandwich. Or maybe a hog pie.”
Splatterhouse 2, Namco Bandai, Sega Genesis. 
“You better not splatter this house! It took me months to scrape all the jam off of the porch.”
August 11th, 2008
Star Parodier, Hudson, TurboGrafx-16. 
“What in the name of the monkey’s pants are you talking about? No one parodies the stars. If any one dared to parody Clark Gable, he’d give him a good wallop.”
Break In, Naxat Soft, TurboGrafx-16.
“BREAK IN!? CAT BURGLARS!? HAAAAAAAAALP! HAAAAAAALP! HAAAAAAAAAAAAA-ACK MY HEART! *COUGH* *GAG* *SPUTTER* *DROOL*”
August 18th, 2008
Mega Man, Capcom, NES.
“My fourth husband was the Omega Man. Oh, Vincent Price, my love, where are you today?”
Neo Turf Masters, D4 Enterprise, Neo Geo.
“HOW DARE YOU MENTION THOSE HEDGEHOGS AGAIN IN THIS HOUSE! They’re always eating my turnips, you know. Some day I will be the turf master and they will be slaves. We still have those, right?”
August 25th, 2008
Ys Book I & II, Nihon falcom, TurboGrafx-16.
“The good book is the way to lead your life, my boy. The second is nothing but poofters and forgiveness. You look like you need a little more wrath and judgment in your life.”
Samurai Showdown II, D4 Enterprise, Neo Geo.
“Good ol’ John Wayne was the winner of most showdowns. At high noon! In front of the saloon! It’s a shame what those samurai did to him. Cut him to shreds. Awful, just awful.”
