More videogames were released this week, which means it’s time for the third installment of our weekly wrap-up! So far this month, week one was pretty good with a few clunkers and week two was mostly the same. Will week three be better? Let’s find out!
- Resident Evil 5 and Assassin’s Creed 2 both released downloadable content this week. We here are “Fabricated News” will continue to ridicule people who pay extra money for material that was supposed to be in the original product, but was purposely left out so you could get charged extra for it. It’s like going to see a movie, then having to pay an extra twenty bucks to see the ending.
- Triple Crown Snowboarding is yet another game based on this month’s theme: Let’s Capitalize on the Winter Olympics. Same with The Misadventures of PB Winterbottom. Bah!
- Phoenix Wright: Ace Attorney: Justice for All is the second Phoenix Wright game ported to the Wii. It is more than just a port, however; it comes with a brand new case to solve. Case #5, Turnabout Whipping, tells the story of Phoenix’s brief, torrid romance with Franziska von Karma during the course of a five-day investigation. It adds a great deal of drama to the plotline, as you can guess; however, I’m afraid I can’t approve of this case because the scenes of Phoenix and Franziska are truly horrifying. Truly horrifying. It’s supposed to be romantic, but it ends up being terror-inducing, like all relationships.
- KORG DS-10 Plus is a game where a group of aliens named “The Korg” attempt to take over the planet Earth by brainwashing everyone who owns a Nintendo DS. They get dangerously close to succeeding, but their plans are foiled when Nintendo releases the eleventh version of the DS system (which is coming later this June).
- Ragnarok DS is a sequel to Fire Emblem Gaiden, which, as our readers might know, had a game-freezing glitch whenever Celica used the Ragnarok Spell. This game has the exact same glitch. I don’t see the point!
- Nancy Drew: The Model Mysteries is the latest DS Nancy Drew game, made by the company whose slogan is “People will mistakenly buy these games, because the PC series is good.” In this game, Nancy becomes an assistant to male supermodel Michael Bridgeway, and she has to solve the mystery of why the models have been given a shipment of green shirts, instead of red ones. *Yawn* This game features a major improvement over the last game in the series; it has two puzzles, not just one.
- Chicken Riot is a game that, if the title is to be believed, involves chickens and some sort of riot. Apparently, Chicken Little has managed to incite mass hysteria by convincing everyone that the sky is falling. Fortunately, the Royal Canadian Mounted Police have been called in to stop them by any means necessary.
- Finally, Ace Attorney Investigations: Miles Edgeworth has been released. While we enjoy this game, some people are rather upset with the ending. You see, in the last case of the game, Case #23.6, Edgeworth is asked to solve the mystery of why Capcom decided to make Apollo Justice: Ace Attorney, because it’s pretty obvious that “let’s turn the super-popular star of the series into an unlikable, drunken hobo” is not exactly a good idea (Fun fact: This was the original script proposed for Indiana Jones IV). While solving this case, Edgeworth is hurled into a soap opera-esque storyline, in which Maya becomes pregnant with twins, and it is revealed that Pearl Fey is really the love child of Phoenix and Mia Fey. The game ends with Phoenix in a drunken rage, about to kill Maya with a knife. The screen then goes blank, except for the words To be continued in Apollo Justice 2: The Further Ruination of Phoenix Wright. The game fades to orange, while maniacal laughter bursts through the speakers.
So those are the games that came out this week, by jingo. Some good material, but some really bad material as well. I’m not sure how February plans to redeem itself. Unless we get something super-awesome, like Super Toad Bros. or BioShock 3, it’s looking like February of 2009 will be pretty forgettable.