“Fabricated News” is back with another installment of new videogame releases! What videogames came out this week, and what are they like? Sure, you could check a real gaming news site for accurate information, but it’s easier for us to just make everything up like usual.
- The most anticipated game this week is Epic Mickey for the Wii. The game stars Mickey Mouse and his epic paintbrush, which he uses to paint brushes. Mickey will go head-to-head against his arch-nemesis, Kirby and the Epic Yarn, who totally stole the “epic” videogame title. Many rare Disney characters have been confirmed for this game, such as Clarabella Cow, Oswald the Happy Rabbit, and the entire cast of The Black Cauldron.
- Deadliest Catch: Sea of Chaos is another war game, in which King Neptune and his legions of mermaids declare war on humanity. It’s the global battle that humans are unprepared for, and it features five different classes: mermaid, whale, shark, dolphin, and Spongebob Squarepants. Can you defeat the humans, or will King Neptune’s plans get soaked?
- Golden Sun: Dark Dawn is the latest mystery game for the DS. The mystery? Trying to figure out how it can still be dark at dawn when there’s a golden sun. Weather-based mysteries are really the only way to go nowadays, you know? Early reviews say this game has way too much dialogue, but all of those reviewers use Twitter. Coincidence? I don’t think so.
- The game description of WinX Club: Rockstars is as follows: “you help fairy friends as they head out on an adventure to swap their magic for guitars and microphones to create a rock star frenzy on stage.” I am not making this up. That is the actual game description. I think this could be our 2010 Game of the Year.
- Hello Kitty Seasons is the first Hello Kitty game for the Wii. OK, forget what I said about WinX Club: Rockstars. This is GameCola’s Game of the Year for 2010.
- Dead Nation is an edutainment game about the Ancient Mayas. Unravel the secrets of a lost civilization and learn all about their ancient culture through multiple choice quizzes. It’s not the most exciting game ever, but at least the computer-generated backgrounds look nice.
- Create is a game that is very, um, creative. Unlike this bullet point.
- RUSH is the first of many Big Time Rush games, based off the popular band/TV show. Join Logan, Carlos, the other guy, and the other guy in their wacky adventures in Hollywood. It’s a text-based game for the iPad that lets you recreate episodes from the TV show, complete with screenshots and occasional video clips. It’s not a very good game, because it’s low-budget and a major rush job, but it should satisfy fans of the series.
Well, those are the new games this week! Fairies, King Neptune, and Big Time Rush. It’s an epic list of epic games for the epic week of epic…ugh.