…Well, “hiring” probably isn’t the best word. “Hiring” implies that some amount of money will exchange hands. Maybe I should change that headline to “GameCola is Looking for New Writing Slaves!”
Yeah, that sounds more appropriate.
Anyway, hey! Hi! Hello! I’m Paul Franzen, Editor-in-Chief of GameCola.net, and I’m looking to add some fresh blood to the talent pool. Perhaps some new people who won’t make disgusting mixed metaphors like that. Do YOU have what it takes to become a part of the slowest-rising videogame website on the Internet?
Here’s what we’re looking for:
- Funny people.
That’s pretty much our primary requirement. The purpose of GameCola is to entertain, while maybe, perhaps, telling people a few things about videogames along the way. If people aren’t laughing while they’re reading your stuff, then you’re doing it wrong, at least as far as we’re concerned. We don’t really care about your résumé, or what kind of experience you have; if you’re a funny writer, you’re a funny writer, and whether you’ve been doing so for years or only for the past hour doesn’t make a difference to us.
If you meet that long list of requirements, what’s your next step? Easy: e-mail me with some writing samples showing off just how funny you are. If your samples meet with the approval of the GameCola Board of Directors (…or should that be “Beard of Directors”?), you’ll be “hired”!
And what if you’re hired? Then we’ll ask you to submit one post (be it a review; a regular, themed column; a webcomic; or whatever) per month. Applicants who are interested in creating webcomics or reporting videogame news for GameCola will receive preferential treatment, because nobody currently on the staff wants to do that anymore. (Though, if you are interested in becoming a “news reporter,” we might ask you to write more than one post per month, because news usually happens more frequently than that.)
Remember, the e-mail address is this one. I hope to hear from YOU!
…And if I don’t…I’ll have to break out that picture again. You know the one.