Last year, we made fun of Spike TV for making antiquated references to South Park and Snakes on a Plane. This year, they continue their trend of living in the early 2000s by renaming the show “VGX“—because the letter X is 2tally kewl. They haven’t said what VGX stands for, but we’re assuming that the X stands for X-TREME.
But, that’s not the only reason why they decided to remove the “A” from the title. While our dedicated team of analysts was busy researching the possibility of another LIVEcast, we stumbled across a recording of a secret meeting of top Spike TV execs discussing this year’s awards show. We’ve transcribed the recording below:
Old, White-Sounding Exec: We need more money! How can we fit MORE advertisements into this show?
—Mumbling can be heard throughout the large and expensively-decorated boardroom—
Young, White-Sounding Exec: Here’s an idea… What if we removed…the AWARDS?
The recording continued for two more hours, but it was almost entirely filled with cheering and the sound of champagne corks being popped. Either way, according to the show’s hip new website, they’ve abandoned the old awards show format and moved on to a more modern format entirely composed of game trailers. The show is also moving to an all-digital format, available on every media platform that isn’t their actual TV station. We’re assuming the time slot that would normally host the awards show will instead be broadcasting three hours of Chevy Sonic commercials.
Their website does list nominees for awards, but there’s no mention of when during the show the awards will be announced. Considering the history of their actual awards show, we’re assuming that all of the awards will either be given in the last five minutes, or will be given as quickly as possible and purely for the sake of showing a given game trailer twice. Considering that the show is now an hour longer than it was in years prior, we’d rather avoid the legal implications of submitting our staff or our viewers to that kind of torture.
With that said, we here at GameCola.net: Gaming Outside the Mainstream must bid farewell to Spike TV’s Spike TV Presents the Spike TV Video Game Awards on Spike TV. We know that we won’t be watching the VGX, and we expect that nobody else will be, either.