Midnight Mysteries: Witches of Abraham

Go home, Abraham Lincoln. You're drunk.

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  • System: PC
  • Also On: Mac, iPad, iPhone
  • Genre: Hidden Object
  • Max Players: 1
  • US Release: October, 2013
  • Developer: Hot Lava Games / Mumbo Jumbo
  • Publisher: Big Fish Games

Scene 1: Modern Day. Our hero is writing at their desk when Abraham Lincoln’s ghost appears.

Writer: Whoa, what?
Lincoln: I am the ghost of Abraham Lincoln!
Writer: President Lincoln? Didn’t you die 150 years ago?
Lincoln: Events in the past are about to affect your future!
Writer: Really? Fascinating! Tell me more.
Lincoln: Before I can explain, you must find a series of hidden objects, none of which will be used on your quest.
Writer: Go home, Abraham Lincoln. You’re drunk.

The Ghost of Abraham Lincoln

Scene 2: The White House, 1863.

Writer: What are we doing here?
Lincoln: We are here to stop a group of bandits from robbing a train filled with gold.
Writer: Are…are you a ghost?
Lincoln: Yes.
Writer: But you were alive in 1863!
Lincoln: So?
Writer: So are you telling me alive Abraham Lincoln and Ghost Abraham Lincoln co-existed?
Lincoln: Obviously.
Writer: Go home, Abraham Lincoln. You’re drunk.

Manor - Witches of Abraham

Scene 3: Arkansas, 1863. Our heroes arrive at a decaying manor.

Writer: Okay, I got the helmet. If you wanted me to have it, why did you hide it with so many puzzles?
Lincoln: That’s just how I roll, bro.
Writer: So I put on this helmet and infiltrate the meeting to learn where the gold heist will be, right?
Lincoln: Wrong. Partway through the scene, the programmers changed their minds. Instead of spying on the bandits, you’re going to explore an empty house.
Writer: That’s dumb, and it sounds irrelevant.
Lincoln: It’s totally relevant, because you’ll find out that the villains are witches who put a curse on me! You must remove the curse so we can continue!
Writer: You’re already dead, Ghost Abraham Lincoln! This curse can’t affect you!
Lincoln: Um…uh…I mean, they put a curse on my son, Willie!
Writer: He’s dead, too! We saw his ghost in the last scene!
Lincoln: Just shut up and do what I tell you. I’m Abraham Lincoln’s time-travelling ghost, and I won’t put up with your sass.

Hidden Objects - Witches of Abraham

Scene 4: Missouri, 1876. Our heroes arrive next to the destroyed train.

Writer: What now?
Lincoln: We must stop the train robbery!
Writer: Too late. Looks like the bad guys already stopped the train.
Lincoln: Darn. That ruins our plans.
Writer: Can’t you use your time-travelling powers to go back a few days and warn the conductor?
Lincoln: No, that would be logical. Okay, new plan. Jesse James is taking a nap in the mines underneath the train. Steal the cross from him!
Writer: What?
Lincoln: But beware! He’s an undead skeleton!
Writer: Go home, Abraham Lincoln. You’re drunk!

Go Home, Lincoln.

Scene 5. The White House, 1863.

Writer: The programmers are reusing scenes already?
Lincoln: It would appear so. This time, my funeral is taking place in the White House.
Writer: But you don’t die for another two years.
Lincoln: Don’t be silly. This game is historically accurate! Haven’t you been reading the fun historical facts that show up onscreen every minute or two?
Writer: I ignore them, because they completely break the flow of the gameplay.

Scene 6: Oklahoma, 1905.

Writer: What now?
Lincoln: We are here to find John Wilkes Booth, the man who assassinated me.
Writer: He died shortly after you did.
Lincoln: Not true! The villains secretly kept him alive for 40 years!
Writer: Why?
Lincoln: Because they’re villains, that’s why! Now, quickly, find him before Jesse James kills him!
Writer: They kept him alive for forty years, just so they could kill him?
Lincoln: Makes sense to me.

Scene 7: Texas, No Date Specified. Why did they specify a date for every scene in the game besides the last scene? I dunno.

Writer: Okay, we made it to the final scene. What do we do here?
Lincoln: You must find the Emperor of Mexico! The villains secretly kept him alive, too.
Writer: Yeah…about that…in between scenes, I checked online. The villains in this game are bad guys from National Treasure 2.
Lincoln: So?
Writer: Is that where this game’s storyline comes from?
Lincoln: Not true! We also stole from Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter!
Writer: I knew it! The game pretends to be historically accurate, but all the designers did was throw together a bunch of random people from the same 40-year period!
Lincoln: You say that, like there’s a problem with it.
Writer: Whatever. Why do I need to find the Emperor of Mexico?
Lincoln: He has the magic spell which will kill all of the villains.
Writer: Is there any reason—any reason at all—why I could not have gone here first?
Lincoln: The game would have been shorter if you did that.
Writer: Of course.

Puzzle Screen - Witches of Abraham

Epilogue: Modern Day. Our hero is nursing a bad hangover, when Jesse James appears.

James: Ha ha ha ha ha!
Writer: Oh no, there’s a bonus chapter available at extra cost!
James: When you killed all the villains, you forgot to kill me! Now I want revenge!
Writer: Revenge? You’re going to shoot me?
James: No, that would be too easy. I’m going to steal Abraham Lincoln’s dead body.
Writer: Gross.
James: Ironically, this will be the one part of the game which comes the closest to being historically accurate! And did I mention you have to solve all the hidden objects challenges again?
Writer: But I didn’t like solving them the first time!
James: Too bad! Reused locations make up half of the bonus chapter! Ha ha ha!
Writer: How do I stop you?
James: After about thirty minutes, you kill me with a conveniently-timed bolt of lightning.
Writer: Go home, Jesse James. You’re drunk.

  • GameCola Rates This Game: 4 - Below Average
5 votes, average: 8.40 out of 105 votes, average: 8.40 out of 105 votes, average: 8.40 out of 105 votes, average: 8.40 out of 105 votes, average: 8.40 out of 105 votes, average: 8.40 out of 105 votes, average: 8.40 out of 105 votes, average: 8.40 out of 105 votes, average: 8.40 out of 105 votes, average: 8.40 out of 10 (You need to be a registered member to rate this post.)

About the Contributor

From 2007 to 2016

Michael Gray is a staff writer for GameCola, who focuses on adventure games, videos and writing videogame walkthroughs.


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