• The Gates of Life: Episode 35 – DIE!!

    ...we’re on the Black Isle, first mentioned in the story like 500 years ago. It’s not possible. Enriquathan: The sand’s black, dude. Observer: OK, FINE. Well, now that’s settled. Enriquathan:...

  • What the Crap?: Go-Karting

    ...you’re driving with your buddies and an old lady is crossing the street and your bud goes, “old lady, 500 points!”? Well, this needs to be incorporated in to as...

  • Ice Hockey (NES)

    ...able to just pick up a controller and play a game of virtual hockey without having to memorize 500 different button combinations to merely make it past the title screen....

  • What the Crap?: Movie Adaptations of Videogames

    ...ass. There wasn’t enough Scorpion harpooning and Sub-Zero freezing. Pokémon movies (all 500 of them): I just plain hate Pokémon, and I think making a movie was just an outreach...

  • Oh, the Humanity!: The Wizard

    I went to the movie store yesterday to see what kind of movies they’re making for kids nowadays. The movie that was being promoted was WALL-E, a cinematic masterpiece that...

  • The Vana’diel Diaries (December 2006)

    ...effective RNG should be without the Emperor’s Hairpin.”) so I had to represent. You all understand this, right? We took position in a sickeningly overcamped room I’ve heard referred to...

  • Ceville (PC)

    ...immediate first thought was “Uuuuuuuuuuuugh, we have to play this game again?! And reload it 500 times?!”) Unfortunately, there’s no way to turn the apparent cause of the BLUE SCREEN...

  • Wall Street Kid (NES)

    Wall Street Kid is horrible. End of story. What’s the first thing you think of when you think of the stock market and investments? For me, it’s the classic red/green...

  • Carbonated News: December 2009

    Welcome to “Carbonated News,” GameCola’s news column that gets you up-to-date with all the latest gaming news. Or, as I like to call it, the column that desperately needs a...

  • Carbonated News: E3 2009 Preview

    Welcome to “Carbonated News,” the column where I take news stories from other Web sites and burp them back at you. This month, the focus is on the Electronics Entertainment...