HOW HIGH CAN YOU GET?
Your SNES is aging now — the Genesis has caught up in terms of graphics, and your Sonic 3 owning friends are laughing at your poor little grey slab. However, out of nowhere leaps a little platformer game called Donkey Kong Country. THIS GAME MAKES YOUR BRAIN EXPLODE. The graphics are so mind-bogglingly impressive, you look past the obvious flaws in the gameplay and make love to your console’s controller ports, right there in the middle of the floor in front of your parents. And you don’t care about this gross display of indecency, as you can show the game to your idiot Genesis friends and LAUGH AT THEIR TEARS. At least, you can as soon as you buy a new SNES to replace the one that is now filled with semen.
It’s a friendly game of Worms 2 with some mates, and it’s your turn. A Weapon Crate drops from the sky, so you go after it, hoping that it’s not a booby trap. After carefully maneuvering your worm over some mines with the Ninja Rope, you grab it. What was inside? None other than the CONCRETE DONKEY. You pull this exact face — o_0 — you have never seen nor heard of such a weapon. Upon selecting it, you place it above the three remaining enemy worms. Trembling, you click on them And it happens — a giant donkey, made of (yes) concrete falls from the sky, COMPLETELY DESTROYING all three worms. And a massive chunk of the landscape. They cry. You laugh.