Most Disappointing Annoyingly Falling Short Sequel of the Month:
Kingdom Hearts II
Let’s just get right into it. I can understand why they would want to revisit old worlds from the original game. It’s interesting to see what your old friends are doing and all, but did they really need to make you repeat nearly the exact same thing you did in those worlds? Did old bosses really have to magically resurrect themselves so I can fight them again in an extremely similar way to what I did in the first game? (I’m looking at you, Oogie Boogie.) Maybe they did have to do all these things, but I can’t think of a good reason why.
The only world coming back from the first game that I think did things right (more or less) happens to be the world that many, many people hate: the Little Mermaid world. You killed all the monsters, so now there aren’t any! It’s great to make sense. Instead of battling monsters, you play somewhat…OK, extremely simplistic minigames while the characters sing songs. It sounds kinda stupid, I suppose, but I think it’s a whole lot better than making me do the same thing over again. Ursula does come back (without an explanation of any kind) though. Oh well, I don’t know what else they could’ve done if they really wanted to have a boss fight song.
Anyway, even if I can understand to a degree going back to old worlds, I don’t understand why they only were able to include a very small amount of new worlds. You spend way more time running around places you have already been than in places that are new to you. Who thought that was a good idea?
My favorite part of this game is actually the Gummi Ship levels. I enjoy creating my own ship from various parts and doing different missions and stuff with a ship that gets stronger and stronger as I collect better parts. It’s not just the customization that I like, either. The levels are vastly improved from the first Kingdom Hearts, and they are actually challenging to a degree and rather fun to play.
Now, for the main reason this game pissed me off: Where are all the giant epic secret bosses for me to fight???!?!!?!?! There are no TITANS, no GIANT ROBOT, no CRAZED PHANTOM. There’s just Sephiroth! Why in the hell is there only Sephiroth?! They replaced all of the cool battles with ridiculously stupid arena gimmicks, like only being able to get hit a certain number of times before losing. That’s pretty amazing—replacing all of the cool boss battles with crappy arena gimmicks. Brilliant. I’m done ranting.
No wait, I’m not. The theme song is better than the game is. Even though it’s a generally good game. Now I’m done.