WHERE IS LUIGI IN SUPER MARIO 64 (THE 64 VERSION)
I think Terrence Atkins needs some personal comments. Jenn (my roommate who has also met Mr. Atkins at Easter) suggests “Hsss” and “Get out of my space.” I suggest “I love Eric.”
You should update the personal profiles, Eric will be 23 on Sunday and hasn’t been in a Sam’s in a while.
I apologize for the ramble.
– Genevieve Regan
Favorite Part of the Last Issue
I am a fool for top 10 lists.
You name it, i love it. You see, top ten lists let me know that the games i love arent really retarded games that are only good in my head. (like Noah’s 3d adventure). I loved that game until the review. You opened my eyes. I mean, Shooting aniamls to make them go to sleep is fun and all, but its not for me anymore.
I invented the idea for the novelty section because of that game. You see the game is so lame, so inconcevably (sp) impossible to enjoy in ANY of the other categories, it must be special. (special olimpics special). They make me laugh, like bronkie the bronasaurus (A game for the late snes dealing with the horrors of smoking). Or others that are even worse. Lets just say it was made for children with diabetes.
But about top ten lists, NEVERMIND JUST GIVE ME A PRIZE!
Anyway, in short- i love the reviews of stupid games. And also the top ten list, to tell whats cool.
– Frank Jacobs
Zack: I’m glad that I was able to clear up any misconception you had about Super 3D Noah’s Ark. The inherent shittiness of that game is exactly why I have a problem with the new novelty rating. If a game is shitty, its rating needs to reflect that. Any sort of novelty that the game inhibits should be made aware within the course of the review, but it should not taint the lower score that it so justly deserves.
It’s funny that you mention the Special Olympics. In the Special Olympics, every athlete receives an award no matter how poorly they did. It’s just as well, since I fully support retarded kids running around and having a good time. But as soon as a handful of retarded people sit down and develop a Nintendo game, I’m going to make fun of it.
Paul Franzen’s SPOT ON review of DQ8.
I don’t know why people still get excited over this series of eternal grind-fests.
– vasken balouzian
Eric’s Superthumbs I feel I learned so much from his highly educational article. Who knew they made games about ball rolling? Plus if he plays trivial pursuit in video game form I can now force him to play trivial pursuit with me in real life. Yes, I am a geek that likes trivia.
– Genevieve Regan
Guest review of Halo 2 (Issue 5-1)
Its more then a 8.6 i give it a 10 out of 10 hands down.
Matt’s review of Drakengard 2 (Issue 5-4-1)
it is one of the best game revews I have read
Matt: Haaaaaaa. This person needs to read more reviews, or learn that sarcasm doesn’t translate like that.
testgame.exe: Making the Adventure (Issue 5-4-2)
I like how you completely ruined your chances of recruiting the ridiculously amazing voice talents of THE Matthew “g50” James Regan Gardner by focusing on schoolwork and other nonsense instead of working on this testgame. Smoove.
-“Captain” ERIC ‘Enrique’ Matthew (named after him, yes) Regan.
I vote cut the shirt into five equal pieces…
Just give everybody the shirt ya cheap *******!
after reviewing those digital images of your staff, we would like to bring them all in for questioning, Thank you for your cooperation
-The World Police
Enjoy burning for all eternity.
Zack: My only solace is that I’m sure Wisdom Games won’t be allowed in Hell. Well, that and the fact that Hell doesn’t exist, and you’re a fool. I guess that also counts as solace.
Uh.. have you ever played DQ 5 and 6? The battle system is completely different in those games…
Paul: The hell Dragon Quest games did you play? All the ones I’ve played are exactly the same.
how long did it take you to beat the first kingdom hearts?
Paul: Something like 30-40 hours? Yeah, that sounds about right.
How many references to things no one cares about such as “The Bouncer” and “Ms Pac Man” do you need to make?
Paul: You have no idea how many The Bouncer fans you’ve just cheesed off.
South Park is not old! it is experienceing its own renaissance!
i always knew your readership consisted of monkeys with internet access and a keyboard
Does anyone proof these articles??? I can’t understand half of this “engrish”. This is the worst piece of anything I’ve ever seen on this site, and that’s saying something.
I think you’ve been sniffing the catnip tooo long Terrence!
HAHA! Naked roommate is funny!
the word “sniffles” was only used 11 times in this article, and not even all of those times were in reference to Eric. This is not enough! MORE SNIFFLES!!!!!!!
Oh i forgot to sign that one requesting more sniffles.
Put a name insert box in here, geez!!!