Dear Readers: Goozex

So I found myself wondering the other day why, exactly, I owned a copy of Tribes: Aerial Assault for PlayStation 2. I couldn’t come up with a reasonable justification. The only one that came to mind was that I must’ve bought it so I’d have something to play on my at-the-time new and shiny PS2 network adaptor, but, if I did that...that’s sort of like buying a leash and being like “hey, I should totally get a dog to go with this.” And, to unnecessarily build upon that, it’s sort of like that dog had terrible gameplay.

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Tribes Aerial Assault(Editor’s note: This article was originally published in the December 2006 issue of GameCola, back when GameCola was published in a monthly online magazine format.)

GameCola Headquarters
College Park, MD 20740

December 1, 2006

WarningThe third paragraph of the following article is going to be very, very dry and boring. It’s also going to sound like I’m trying to sell you something.

Dear Readers,

So I found myself wondering the other day why, exactly, I owned a copy of Tribes: Aerial Assault for PlayStation 2. I couldn’t come up with a reasonable justification. The only one that came to mind was that I must’ve bought it so I’d have something to play on my at-the-time new and shiny PS2 network adaptor, but, if I did that…that’s sort of like buying a leash and being like “hey, I should totally get a dog to go with this.” And, to unnecessarily build upon that, it’s sort of like that dog had terrible gameplay.

The game’s been collecting insect poo and flakes of dead skin for the better part of two years. Until now. Goozex.com offers me a way to not only get rid of Tribes: Aerial Assault, but also to pick up something worthwhile in return. Which is unlike what would happen if I just sold the game to GameStop, inasmuch as I’d only get enough cash to pick up one (partially used) after-dinner mint in return.

The way Goozex works is this: You list all the games you wanna get rid of. Someone claims one of your games. You send them the game, and you get points added to your account. You can then spend those points on other games. You pay postage, and you pay one dollar per trade; but beyond that, you’re getting rid of crappy games and getting games you want in return.

Right now you can trade games for all major systems, plus PCs and portables. They tell me they’ll be able to handle older games, too, in something like six months, so you can finally get rid of that copy of Muppet Adventure for the NES that I’m sure you also refused ever to play again.

Speaking of online trading, GameCola’s annual spectacularly amazing January issue is almost upon us! (How about that transition, eh? Totally seemless. I’ll just hope nobody notices that it doesn’t make any sense.) Remember last month when I said we were looking for new writers? I know you do; you’re cool like that. It still holds true! In the tradition of bulking up the January issue like crazy, we’re still on the prowl for new reviewers and new columnists to join the GameCola staff.

Oh, but what’s that you say? Speak up a little; I can’t hear you. Ah! You want to help bulk up the January issue, but you don’t want to be bothered writing for us every single month as a regular member of our team! No problemo. This is me making a shout-out to all my peeps who’d like to pop in with a guest review or a guest article for the Janish, and then slowly, quietly, back away, never to be heard from again.

Man, I am so stoked about the Janish. New staff members. Guest articles. Our END OF THE YEAR AWARDS! (Which, by the way, you will be able to vote on, provided that you’re on our mailing list.) And much, much more! Check it out next month, or you will freaking regret it.

Though, of course, you’ll ALSO regret it if you don’t click onward and check out what we’ve got for you right goddamn now! We’ve got a huge update to testgamea protest in D.C. with vague mentions of videogames, and the return of NEAL IANNONE to the pages of GameCola! He’s going up against PAUL FRANZEN in Versus Mode this month, making it basically the absolute must-read of the freaking millennium. Go check that baby out. And the others I mentioned, too.

DO IT RIGHT NOW!!

Love,

Paul Franzen
editor in chief
e-mail: pfranzen@gamecola.ne

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