I was going through the archives and reread the Matt/Paul fanfiction that Lizo wrote. Those stories rocked, and I was inspired to write my own GameCola fanfiction.
– Devoted GameCola Fan
It was a normal day. Paul was wearing a bathrobe while lying on his bed and chowing down on some pre-Halloween candy. His roommate, Matt, was reading in a corner, a fact that made Paul happy. Paul didn’t know why, but, somehow, things just felt _better_ when Matt was nearby.
Matt put down his book and said, “So…I was thinking about going as Abraham Lincoln for Halloween.”
“But wouldn’t you have to grow a beard for that?” Paul asked.
“But wouldn’t you have to grow a beard for that?” Paul asked.
“Yeah, but that’s no problem. I mean, you have a beard, right?” Matt shrugged.
Matt’s question brought out a burst of laughter from Paul.
“Don’t laugh,” Matt said, sounding a little offended.
“I’m not laughing at _you_,” Paul said. “I was laughing at what you said. After all, if you want to know if I have a beard, all you have to do is look at my face.”
Matt grinned. “Yeah, well, I know you have a beard.”
There was a brief silence.
“You know, I’ve always liked your beard,” Matt said.
A burst of pride swelled up in Paul’s heart. Matt liked his beard?
“I was just wondering…” Matt began. “If I…could I…touch it?”
Paul couldn’t believe his ears. “What?”
“Just to see what it feels like,” Matt shrugged.
Paul pretended to be indifferent, but the thought of Matt’s hand on his face secretly thrilled him. “Sure, whatever, man.”
Matt gulped and reached his hand towards Paul’s face. His fingers twitched, inches from Paul’s beard. Then…connection. Matt’s hand reached Paul’s cheek, and slowly began stroking Paul’s face.
“That feels good,” Matt said. “Really, really good.”
Paul blinked in surprise. He was going to say the same thing.
Matt withdrew his hand, leaving Paul with a slight empty feeling. “Thanks, man,” Matt said. “I think I _will_ grow a beard for Halloween.”
Paul gulped. He knew he shouldn’t do it, but…somehow, he couldn’t help himself.
“Did I tell you what I’m going to do for Halloween?” Paul blurted out.
“No, what?”
“I’m going as a boxer.”
Silence for a moment. “Do you have the outfit ready?”
“Sure do.”
“What’s it look like?”
“You can decide for yourself,” Paul said, throwing off his robe, revealing his boxer shorts to his unsuspecting roommate.
Matt’s jaw dropped in disbelief. Paul smiled to himself. This was going to be a magical Halloween, he could tell.
Neutopia II (Wii-VC)
Neutopia II brings more of the same from the original but makes improvements in pretty much every category. The music is better and more varied, and the annoying “you-are-almost-dead” noise has been quieted down to a tolerable level. Graphics as well as controls get an upgrade, meaning that it’s more enjoyable to fight through maps. More inventory items means more varied gameplay, and more extensive layouts means more in game time.
I still run out of bombs, though, and find myself backtracking to the nearest store. If you enjoyed the first one, the second one is better and definitely worth picking up.
Overall Score: 7.5/10
– Sprite Monkey
Paul’s Review of Bone: The Great Cow Race (Issue 5-4-2: April 2006)
you son of a bitch amanda bynes is the best actress anyone can be so shut up or ill betch slap the dumb out of you shetbag
– Anonymous
General
WHAT IS THIS BLASHMEPHY! do you not realize what month this is! where are the thousands and thousands of words about Halo 3! WHERE IS MY HALO THREE COVERAGE! I just can not get enough of it! YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOUR SELVES game”COLA”. This is one COLA i shall never wish to DRINK again! BRING ON THE HALO 3 FOR EVVAAAA
– The Great Khalil
Sprite Monkey: What’s a “Halo 3?”
No, seriously. I think that’s why there isn’t one, because every other Web site has ripped through that game inside and out repeatedly and exhaustingly (just like your mom).
God forbid GameCola tries to subvert the dominant paradigm.
