Virtual Console (February 2008)

Your Aunt Martha likes wolves. She adopts them, you know, has at least six or seven of them. They tear up her house something awful, though, and piss all over her furniture.

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Reviews of Virtual Console titles released in February 2008 by Myrtle T. Blinkin, Senior Citizen

myrtleFebruary 4th, 2008

Operation Wolf, Taito, NES: 0o5
Your Aunt Martha likes wolves. She adopts them, you know, has at least six or seven of them. They tear up her house something awful, though, and piss all over her furniture.
Columns III: Revenge of Columns
, Sega, Sega Genesis: 2o5
All this technology is so frightening. In my day, columns never sought revenge, or avenged the deaths of other columns. They just stood there. Tall and quiet. And proud.

February 11th, 2008

Harvest Moon, Natsume, SNES: 4o5
I met my first husband under a harvest moon. The poor dear was crushed under the weight of it and died later that night. The health department said I couldn’t marry a dead man, so I didn’t. I guess he wasn’t my first husband.
Lords of Thunder, Hudson Soft, TurboGrafx-16: 4o5
I was a Lord of Thunder once. I would smite the guilty with sonic waves that would rend their flesh straight from their bones. Woo, Nelly, I was quite a Lord of Thunder. I got better, though.

February 18th, 2008

Ninja Gaiden III: The Ancient Ship of Doom, Tecmo, NES: 2o5
I once sailed around the world in a ship of doom. Turns out the ship wasn’t so doomed and we all had a pleasant voyage that took us through many romantic ports and foreign cities, but foreigners scare me. So does Foreigner. When the boat was hit by a comet everyone aboard drowned in the ocean.
Phantasy Star II, Sega, Sega Genesis: 3o5
My bowels. They’re impacted. They call it an impacted bowel.

February 25th, 2008

Kirby 64: The Crystal Shards, Nintendo, Nintendo 64: 3o5
Good old Kirby Whitmore the Third. He played tennis, wore polo shirts, and danced the Charleston like a jack rabbit on fire. He built his whole empire on the backs of his employees. He was the bee’s knees, I tell you.
Psychosis
, Naxat Soft, TurboGrafx-16: 4o5
I have one of those. Maybe a few of them, but I don’t know if I already know what I want to already did! AAAA-HAHAHAHA!

2 votes, average: 8.00 out of 102 votes, average: 8.00 out of 102 votes, average: 8.00 out of 102 votes, average: 8.00 out of 102 votes, average: 8.00 out of 102 votes, average: 8.00 out of 102 votes, average: 8.00 out of 102 votes, average: 8.00 out of 102 votes, average: 8.00 out of 102 votes, average: 8.00 out of 10 (You need to be a registered member to rate this post.)
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About the Contributor


From 2007 to 2009

Myrtle T. Blinkin is a former staff member from GameCola's early days as a monthly email newsletter.

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