Reviews of Virtual Console titles released in May 2008 by Myrtle T. Blinkin, Senior Citizen
Renegade, Aksys Games, NES.
“Your grandfather was a renegade. A renegade of funk. He smelled most often of motor oil and urine, which was quite funky, I tell you!”
Pokémon Puzzle League, Nintendo, N64.
“Look, I hear about these pokey mans all the time on the telly, and they are destroying the minds of young’uns all over the world. It’s a plan from Charlie to destroy our country from the ground up, you just wait and see! Myrtle knows! Myrtle knows!”
May 12th, 2008
Nothing. Nada. Fuck all.
May 19th, 2008
Sky Kid, Namco Bandai, NES.
“Have you seen my sky kid? I left my sky kid in the park and when I went back to the park, the squirrels had taken my sky kid away. Have you seen my pie skid? I left my pie skid in the park and when I went back….”
May 26th, 2008
City Connection, Jaleco, NES.
“There is a bus that will connect you to the city. First you take the bus that stops down by the corner, the 253, down to the train station. Take the train to the main station, and then walk to the bus depot and get on the 1492, and it will take you back to the main station. From there you can take the train back to the city.”
Metal Slug, D4 Enterprise, Neo Geo.
“No, deary, slugs are made of goo, and they hate it when you poor salt and lemon juice on them, and then pick them up and swing them around the room by their tails! Weeee! Then let go and they fly through the air like a flying slug. They love that!”