Wow, for a guy who has never played a Sonic the Hedgehog game in his life, I sure write a lot of articles about the series! Anyway, I have received breaking news on the latest Sonic game, which was released about a month ago.
The news, that is. Not the game.
That’s right, the next Sonic the Hedgehog game will be a 2D game, done in the style of the original series, which came out for the Sega…Jenny’s Sis. This is the next major game to be released in the style of older games in its series after Capcom’s upcoming Mega Man 10 (in which the Blue Bomber fights Dancing Man, Monster Man and The Man).
“The decision to restart the series in 2D was simple,” said Sega’s Vice-President of Marketing, Mr. Doodlebug. “It had nothing to do with Sonic, actually. We’re just trying to make it an industry standard for companies to continue series that have been dead for fifteen years. It’s all part of our master plan to force Disney to make DuckTales 3.”
Meanwhile, the Vice-President of Marketing for Disney Interactive, Mr. Doodlebug, said there is no way DuckTales 3 will ever see the light of day, because they have long since stopped airing good cartoons on the Disney Channel in favor of mindless nonsense like Phineas and Ferb.
He further went on to say that a DS compilation of all the NES-era Disney games would 1) Take about a week to make and 2) Probably sell over a million copies, like most of the NES Disney games did. Come on, Disney. You don’t need Uncle Scrooge to tell you that it’s a good business decision, by jingo!
By jingo indeed! To hear “The Moon” radiating from my DS speakers would be a lifetime’s wages well spent.
Big companies like Disney and Square-Enix really don’t seem to like making easy money.
Also, I think it’s funny how this is an article about Sonic 4, yet the image featured on the main page was of DuckTales.