The Game Developers Conference is being held in San Francisco next week. I’m the only GameCola staff member on the West Coast, and I’m the main news guy for some unknown reason, so I decided to register for the conference in order to bring you an on-the-scenes look at GDC 2010. It’s only a 25-minute drive to the conference from my house, so I can totally attend, right?
Sadly, registration costs actual money, which is way beyond my budget. So instead, GameCola had to ask them if they would pretty please let me attend the conference for free.
Press passes are issued by invitation only. It looks like this is one party I can’t gate-crash.
I don’t know why they rejected GameCola’s application. Maybe they’re a bunch of exclusivists. Maybe third-party reporters have caused trouble in the past. Maybe they saw the name of this column. Whatever the reason, I’m not allowed to attend GDC as a member of the press.
I was going to post their rejection letter here, but I’m not allowed to do that either. (I’m also not allowed to call, add them as friends on MySpace, or do the Hokey Pokey until further notice. They apparently have really good lawyers.) So instead, enjoy this dramatic recreation of the rejection letter.
Thank you so much for your interest in our conference, but unfortunately, we have people from real websites who are coming to the event, and we don’t have any room to spare for wanna-be losers like you. Seriously, nobody likes you. You’re annoying. Never talk to us again.
The Game Developers Conference Is Awesomer Than You
Wow, that’s kind of harsh. It reminds me of the time I asked a girl out on a date. (Yes, I say the time because it only happened once.) But never fear, GameCola faithful! Even though I am not allowed to attend the Game Developers Conference, I fully intend to give you accurate reports about what is happening at GDC 2010. Either that, or I’ll totally make everything up. Stay tuned!
I think we should change our name to GameCooler.