Topics in gaming news debated by GameCola writers and industry professionals.
In this edition of “Versus Mode” we have:
ZACK HUFFMAN VS. MICHAEL RIDGAWAY
Zack Huffman is a former GameCola staff writer who used to write reviews as well as several columns, including “Cheat Codes for Life,” which was an advice column for gamers; “Get Out of Your Damn House,” which implored gamers to do something with their lives; and “Oh, the Humanity!,” which reviewed videogame-based movies. Since leaving GameCola, he’s been working as a professional newspaper reporter. This is Zack’s first appearance in “Versus Mode.”
Michael Ridgaway is a current GameCola staff writer who writes reviews and blog posts as well as “Quantum Geek,” which chronicles the adventures of a boy trapped inside a videogame system gone haywire. This is Michael’s third appearance in “Versus Mode,” having written previously with Donna Nicholson and Alex Jedraszczak.
Zack Huffman: As someone who is currently dividing gaming time between Resident Evil 5 and Red Dead Redemption, I understand there are merits to both linear and sandbox gaming. That being said, anyone who honestly believes that so-called “sandbox games” are boring is too bound by their need for structure, and most likely a pedophile.
Open-ended games such as Red Dead Redemption and Grand Theft Auto that do not force gamers into a very specific gaming path allow casual players to enjoy testing the limits of open play by trying to murder and/or rape anything the game will allow.
Michael Ridgaway: I think there are two ways we need to break this down. One, any game done poorly is boring. Two, not everyone likes every type of game. Methinks Patrick Bach has trouble distinguishing in the latter case, or maybe he’s just been playing so many sandbox games that he’s burnt out on them. If people end up not having fun playing Battlefield 3, does that mean that linear, story-focused games are all bad? Nope, it probably just means that Battlefield 3 is.
2. Anonymous’s attacks on Sony are completely deserved.
Zack: Sony is just one of several large corporate conglomerates that operate through oligarchic means that stifles competition and works towards mass subjugation of a population that is more 
concerned with game mechanics than the fact that they’re wasting their lives on unlocking yet another Achievement when they could be working towards making themselves less useless as human beings. Regardless of the reasoning behind Anonymous’ attacks, any attack is justified.
Michael: Did Sony overreact and try to throw their weight around? Yes. But these are dangerous times for console makers and content providers, as a lot of people have proven that they can’t be trusted around DRM-free games. And as noble as the intentions of Geohot seemed to be, his morality does not exist in a vacuum, and I have friends that depend on Sony making money so that THEY can have a job. So yeah, Sony overreacted, but got knocked back in court, and Geohot is apparently happy with the settlement, so let’s leave it at that. Also, let’s not forget that Anonymous, while doing some fun things like trolling Scientology, ALSO sexually harassed and made death-threats to an elementary school kid. So, who would rather side with: the people who made Uncharted 2, or child stalkers?
3. The 3DS has been a disappointment thus far.
Zack: As with previous incarnations of the DS, it seems like every available game is either some crappy novelty shit like Nintendogs, or a scaled-down port of a game that you probably finished a year ago. So what difference does it make if those games are now in 3D? I guess 3DS has been a disappointment if you’re only willing to give a system one month to catch on, but really who cares? If you’re willing to pay $250 for the gimmick of three dimensions, you should probably not be allowed to make your own financial decisions.
Michael: Compared to the Wii, yeah it’s been a bit of a disappointment, at least in the sales department. As the above article points out, there’s a lot of factors that have contributed to the 3DS getting a rough start, and honestly I don’t know if it will end up being a success or not. All I know is that I’ve been impressed with what I’ve seen, and I’ll definitely be getting one when I have the cash to spare.
4. Sonic’s old design is SO much better than his current one.
Zack: At the end of the day, Sonic the Hedgehog is and always will be the poor man’s Mario. Sonic sucked back in the day, and he still sucks now. If you thought Jaleel White could not sink lower than his role as Urkel, just check the voice credits of the Sonic the Hedgehog cartoon. Mario, on the other hand, featured Captain Lou Albano—a man who divided his time between videogame cartoons, the WWF and Cindy Lauper music videos.
If I had to make a choice between new and old Sonic, I would have to go with old Sonic, just because I was guaranteed to not have to look at his stupid, blue face so long as I avoided Sega systems like the plague.
Michael: Honestly, I don’t see that much of difference between the two. One is slightly taller, slightly blue-er, and has green eyes. If it was a complete redesign of his look and character, then I think there could be a discussion, but I think feuding over old and new versions of Sonic is pretty silly. Not that it won’t happen…
5. What do you want from Nintendo’s new console?
Zack: A dick hole. Seriously, the new Nintendo console should have a dick hole in it. The Nintendo Wii was able to successfully bring a new level of interaction to gaming with the wireless Wii-motes, and it was also successful in creating a system accessible enough for non-traditional gamers like your deranged grandfather who was introduced to Wii Golf at Thanksgiving, but kept asking, “where’s the black boy who carries my golf bag?”
The one demographic that Nintendo has failed to capitalize on as well as PlayStation and Xbox has always been the adult market that wants adult-themed games. So why shouldn’t Nintendo take that next step with the inclusion of a vibrating dick-hole and a return to a genre of sexual console games that have not been seen since Atari 2600 brought us pixelated cocks and a strange fixation on rape themes.
Nintendo Wii already has the vibrating controller that I’m sure plenty of awkward 13-year-old girls have discovered new uses for, so why not give that same opportunity to the larger gender demographic of video players?
Michael: At this point, all I really want anymore is to be surprised. Nintendo has been shown to have a really good track record with this, and I fully expect my reaction to the Wii 2 or whatever it’s called to be “Holy crap, can they DO that?” And then the Nintendo fanboy-ism that I thought I grew out of as a child will come roaring back, and it’ll be like the first time I saw the Super Nintendo again.
To hear more from this month’s “Versus Mode” contributors, check out Zack Huffman’s GameCola archive here, and Michael Ridgaway’s here.
Do you own or write for a videogame website or blog? Are you involved in the videogame industry? Do you…at least work at GameStop, or something? Well then, you’re just what we’re looking for! E-mail Editor-in-Chief Paul Franzen for details about participating in “Versus Mode.”
