[NSFW] Decide My Fate, Faithful Readers

What should Christian Porter's first-ever Let's Play be?

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Recently I’ve been thinking I’d like to do a Let’s Play for GameCola’s fine YouTube channel. I’d like it to be a completely blind Let’s Play—something I’ve never played before. Unfortunately, since the list is so long, I can’t choose which game to play. That’s where you come in. I put my faith in you, dear readers, to choose from the following nine games. They will be categorized as “Good” for games I believe I will enjoy playing, “Bad” for games I’m pretty certain I’ll hate, and “WTF” for games that I’ll be too busy yelling “What?! THIS IS A GAME?!” at to determine how I feel about them. Your choices are:

Good:

Tex Murphy: Overseer (PC)

murphy

A bit goofy? Perhaps. But for a man who loves adventure games and bad movies, the Tex Murphy series of games is a must-play. I’m just psyched there’s going to be a new Tex Murphy game soon and I’d like to get myself caught up.

Shadow of the Colossus HD (PS3)

shadow

It’s got horses and…uh…colossi. I don’t really know much about the plot other than that, but I know I’ve been wanting to play it for years now and just never got around to it.

Fable III (X360)

fable-III-

I enjoyed most aspects of Fable II and would like to relive it all again in Fable III. Battle was fun, I enjoyed buying up property, but, most of all, it was the copious amounts of gay sex that kept me coming back. And I mean coming.

Semen.

Bad:

Canada Hunt (Wii)

canada hunt

This game is considered by many to be the worst game on the Wii. Let that sink in a moment. WORST GAME ON THE WII. That’s like being declared the biggest asshole at a party that includes Pol Pot, Stalin, and Guy Fieri.

A Fork in the Tale (PC)

forkinthetale

I only know one thing about this game, and it’s the only thing I need to know: It’s an interactive movie starring Rob Schneider.

Homey D Clown (PC)

homey-d-clownHey, you guys remember In Living Color? (Say yes, so I don’t feel as old.) Well there was a Homey D Clown adventure game, too! I feel a deep connection with Homey D Clown because I, too, don’t wish to “play dat.”

WTF:

Hatoful Boyfriend (PC)

hatoful09

Hatoful Boyfriend is a dating sim where you try to date some sexy birds. Also, no, I am not using British slang. I mean you try to pique the romantic interest of literal pigeons.

Dr. Ruth’s Computer Game of Good Sex (PC)

dr-ruths-computer-game-of-good-sex_2

Here’s a game by Dr. Ruth. I don’t really know if it will enhance my sex life by playing, or yours by watching, but I really only chose this so there’s a chance that I can make a Let’s Play with tons of boner jokes.

Captain Bible and the Dome of Darkness (PC)

27881

Although this may not be Bibleman, played by Willie Aames of Charles in Charge fame, the storyline kind of seems similar to Charles in Charge. Except in this case Scott Baio is played by The Holy Spirit and Buddy Lembeck is Alfred E. Newman in a knight outfit.

So there’s your choices. Though I will do everything I can to accommodate the winner, these are contingent on whether or not I can get the games/recording equipment working, but outside of that you have full control over my fate. Love me, punish me, or just kind of confuse me.

Go make your selection here

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About the Contributor


From 2007 to 2013

11 Comments

  1. I’m going to be honest; blind Let’s Plays should really be avoided unless you’re familiar with how to do a Let’s Play. As of yet, I’ve avoided doing completely blind Let’s Plays (except for Sonic with my eyes closed LOL). That said, I’ve made my choice, I hope you don’t mind playing Hatoful Boyfriend.

  2. Coming at this from the perspective of the humble YouTube administrator:

    Most of these games are really good picks, and Tex Murphy, Fable, Fork in the Tale, and Homey D. Clown are absolutely relevant to the kinds of videos we already have, and to GameCola in general. I’d lump Shadow of the Colossus in there, too, but I don’t want to spoil that one before I play it. 🙂 I’d just be judicious about trimming out redundant and overly drawn-out footage that’s sort of unavoidable with blind Let’s Plays.

    Canada Hunt, Hatoful Boyfriend, and Dr. Ruth sound like great fun for a one-shot video, or a review, or part of something like Speak American (that’d be an idea–play all of them in order and switch to another game whenever you get bored; make a series out of it), but I can see their novelty wearing off quickly–even with great commentary–after a few videos. Same goes for Captain Bible, but YouTubers seem to be far more vocal and vitriolic about things that offend them than our regular article readers, so I’m less enthusiastic because of the potential religion-fueled flame wars that could ignite.

    But, y’know, you gotta go with what people vote for. You promised.

    1. Thankfully, I don’t think Hatoful Boyfriend, Canada Hunt, Dr Ruth, or Captain Bible are too ridiculously long. Especially Dr Ruth – I wouldn’t be too surprised if that’s 5 minutes long.

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