[NSFW] Crystalis D&Dcast – Part 9: Smote on the Water

Sleeping. Shopping. Sea combat. It's the ninth installment of GameCola's Crystalis-themed D&D podcast!

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Crystalis Title 9Story Navigation: | Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5 | Part 6 | Part 7 | Part 8 | Part 9 | Part 10 |

Crystalis 9With a quartet of friendly dolphins awaiting their return to the sea, Alex “Zebu” Jedraszczak, Christian “Tornel” Porter, Vangie “Asina” Ridgaway, and Mike “Kensu” Ridgaway prepare for one last shopping trip before the endgame begins, because it wouldn’t be a true RPG if we didn’t put the fate of the world on hold to go shopping.

Crystalis Joel Shop

In this seasickness-inducing installment, you’ll hear…

  • A bunny-wielding spastic shopkeeper.
  • Distance complications and a Paralysis spell that take the “fast-paced” out of my fast-paced sea battle.
  • Dolphin-mounted wrestling.
  • The heroes throwing their swords at each other.
  • The worst pun I have ever made. The worst. Oh, it’s awful. It might even be worse than the last one.
  • Me threatening to kill off the players if they don’t finish the quest in time. And also their characters.

…and much, much more! Enjoy it while you can, because everybody dies next time.

The adventure continues here!

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About the Contributor


Since 2009

Nathaniel Hoover is almost certainly GameCola's most verbose staff member, and arguably the most eclectic. As administrator of the GameCola YouTube channel (GCDotNet), occasional contributor to every article category on the site, and staff editor, you're pretty much stuck with him wherever you go. Sorry.

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