• Phantom Fighter (NES)

    ...this game for going slightly above the standards of NESdom (retrospectantly shallow programming, lame translations, short game time and low replay value in the modern world) for a number of...

  • Jewel Knights Crusaders (PC) [NSFW]

    ...actually offensive in a number of other ways, believe it or not. For starters, there is no gameplay in this “game.” Even the Hugo trilogy has vastly superior gameplay to...

  • The Gates of Life: Episode 48 – Minotaur’s Gate

    ...but is a voice cracking really– Bar-Bar: Try the second power, you BASTARD SONOFABITCH WHORE. Necrostreeb: Yeah! Power number two!! Streebless: I mean, power number one was great!! Don’t get...

  • … of the Month: I’m Not Giving You Any Money, Gina

    ...me out for owing you money. Psh. BUT, this isn’t about money, is it? No, this is about GameCola’s number one menace: Furries. First, let me get this out of...

  • Dear Readers: MAGFest 5

    ...20740 February 1, 2007 Number of videogame conventions I have attended: 4 Number of videogame conventions that have given me, completely unexpectedly, dog tags with the name “Paul ‘gamecola’ Franzen”...

  • Final Fantasy XII (PS2)

    ...the genre, have been thirsting for this title. I picked my copy up at a midnight release party at Gamestop—nearly 50 people attended, a considerable number in costume, and all...

  • Super Noah’s Ark 3D (SNES)

    Wisdom Tree is best known for ruining a countless number of Christmases for children in devcolaout Christian homes. Although they tended to stick with NES games, they made one single...

  • Q&AmeCola: Your First Game

    ...released, now everything’s possible, right?) (Daniel is the author of “Don’t Be That Guy.”) Super Mario Bros. 2 Mark Freedman I’m told that the first game I played was the...

  • Swordquest: WaterWorld

    ...WaterWorld invoked the same “find and place items” style of gameplay as its two predecessors, with the only notable difference being a marginal decrease in the number of items and...

  • Dear Readers: We Need a New Logo

    ...roughly speaking, the Paleozoic era. During this whim, I discovered… …a celebratory image from not too long ago… (This banner came about because GameCola was the number three listing under...