• Top of the Heap: Top of 2007

    ...you the overall score these games share and a picture of a cat in a sombrero. Blatant Ripoffs (at The American Classic Arcade Museum) (From issue 6-11) Top: Gorf Like...

  • Donkey Kong Barrel Blast (Wii)

    ...might be OK, but Funky Kong sounds like he was voiced by a drunken African-American pirate. Someday, Chunky. Someday. As awesome as a roster like that is, it doesn’t make...

  • Submissions (February 2008)

    ...Exciting World of Soccer.” Not even “The Somewhat Interesting World of Soccer.” No American is going to play a game that doesn’t have an “Extreme” name. “Tony Hawk’s X-TREME World...

  • News (6/6/08): They Should Just Call it Star Soul Wars at This Point.

    ...their elected representatives.” I can only hope that this game will finally get American rednecks to get their heads out of their asses, and learn exactly how a little black...

  • Wii Fit (Wii)

    ...a lazy American gaijin, you are most likely one of those people, and that number is probably higher in the States. If you’re looking to finally crack down on your...

  • Mickey Mania: The Timeless Adventures of Mickey Mouse (SCD)

    ...as a whole is slightly hamstrung by this rigid commitment to chronicling the all-American rodent’s exploits in the correct order, but not to the extent that the game is ruined....

  • Dragon Warrior (NES)

    ...Dragon Quest in Japan somehow actually managed to be worse than the American release. Well, OK, it’s likely that the Japanese RPG scene would have turned out the same, even...

  • The Legend of the Mystical Ninja (SNES)

    ...Nintendo—the kinda “other” flagship character). I kinda figure that American audiences really don’t go for a whole game that is completely Japanese in tone. It’s hard to get into a...

  • Breath of Fire III (PS1)

    ...prices were soaring due to a nationwide shortage, leaving the average American with little else to do but fart into their gas tank, praying to Satan that it would work....

  • Super Mario Bros. 3 (NES)

    ...it has. Few things in life ever live up to their hype. Indie music. Buddha. Apple pie. David Cronenberg films. Seth McFarlane, although I’ve really warmed up to American Dad...