• Submissions (February 2008)

    ...Exciting World of Soccer.” Not even “The Somewhat Interesting World of Soccer.” No American is going to play a game that doesn’t have an “Extreme” name. “Tony Hawk’s X-TREME World...

  • News (6/6/08): They Should Just Call it Star Soul Wars at This Point.

    ...their elected representatives.” I can only hope that this game will finally get American rednecks to get their heads out of their asses, and learn exactly how a little black...

  • Soul Calibur (X360-XBLA)

    ...right? Right! …Damn, as much as Bud Light is a plague on American soil, it sure is good…. Anywee, Soul Calibur is the second titty in the Soul series, in...

  • Dragon Warrior (NES)

    ...Dragon Quest in Japan somehow actually managed to be worse than the American release. Well, OK, it’s likely that the Japanese RPG scene would have turned out the same, even...

  • Carbonated News: E3 2009 Preview

    ...all. It seems that it’s a pretty safe bet to say we will see some footage of one of these three games at E3. Unfortunately, American and European fans of...

  • The Legend of the Mystical Ninja (SNES)

    ...Nintendo—the kinda “other” flagship character). I kinda figure that American audiences really don’t go for a whole game that is completely Japanese in tone. It’s hard to get into a...

  • Breath of Fire III (PS1)

    ...prices were soaring due to a nationwide shortage, leaving the average American with little else to do but fart into their gas tank, praying to Satan that it would work....

  • Super Mario Bros. 3 (NES)

    ...it has. Few things in life ever live up to their hype. Indie music. Buddha. Apple pie. David Cronenberg films. Seth McFarlane, although I’ve really warmed up to American Dad...

  • Mega Man (NES)

    Long ago, there was a time when Zero was merely the amount of fashion sense the average American had, when Battle Network was just a pet name for the TV...

  • Wild Arms 3 (PS2)

    ...and then there’s the Native American shaman with a sawed-off shotgun who’s surprisingly useless in battle. Basically, this game is just a wild west Dragon Warrior. That’s what it eventually...