Dear Readers: Write For Me, Part 2: Paul in a Bikini!

(Editor’s note: This article was originally published in the December 2007 issue of GameCola, back when GameCola was published in a monthly online magazine format.)

GameCola Headquarters
Trenton, NJ 08619

December 1, 2007

Dear Readers,

Thanks to the enormous success of last month’s flow charts, we now—officially—have one whole, new, entire new writer who will start writing for us next month in the January issue. And hey, that’s not bad. Not bad at all.

But, honestly? We can do better than that. I know we can do better than that.

Think of all the GameCola greats who started off as mere readers. Travis Combs. Sprite Monkey.Kevin Leacock. Travis Combs. That Australian guy who I believe fell into a black hole.

You could join their ranks—yes, you! You with the hair.

I am so dedicated to this cause—the cause of taking GameCola to new heights via making more people write for me—that I spent literally minutes digging up this old image from our archives. It’s from issue 2-3, to be exact, and, from what I understand, it led directly to Kevin Leacock writing for us. Check it out:

I made that myself, using Photoshop. No, seriously—that is not a legitimate photograph. Though, speaking of which, I did just ask my girlfriend if I could borrow her swimsuit and take an updated—and more realistic—Paul-kini shot, but she turned me down, for some reason. Maybe she’ll let me do it for the January issue.

But that’s beside the point, What is, in fact, the point, is this: By showing you that image, I have now guaranteed that you’re interested in writing for GameCola. I’d now like to present—for old time’s sake—last month’s FLOWCHARTS to make certain that you know exactly how you can get involved:

Path A: I want to join the GameCola Staff!
What do you want to do?
↓	↓		↓
I want to write reviews!	I want to write a column!		I want to do something else!
↓	↓		↓
Well, that’s easy! Just e-mail me and let me know, and we’ll take it from there.	Do you have an idea for a column?		We are always on the prowl for a new cartoonist, new artists, and people to help spread the word about GameCola.
	↓	↓	↓	↓
	Yes.	No.	I would like to do one of those things!	Those things sound boring.
	↓	↓	↓	↓
	E-mail me with your column idea, and we’ll see what we can do!	E-mail me, and I’ll let you in on our stockpile of column ideas and see if any tickle your fancy.	Well, e-mail meand let me know, and we’ll see what we can work out.	Have another idea?
				↓	↓
				Yes.	No.
				↓	↓
				Well, go ahead and let me know what it is! We’ll see what we can do.	E-mail me and we’ll try to find something for you.

Path B: I want to contribute something to just the January issue.
↓
Awesome! Here, try sending us any of the following:
↓
٠ A review ٠ An article on any subject you choose ٠ A letter about how wonderful/terrible we are ٠ A letter about how wonderful/terrible one of our articles was ٠ A poem ٠ A video ٠ A fanfiction ٠ A drawing ٠ A photograph ٠ A painting ٠ A comic strip
↓
Did any of those things look interesting to you?
↓	↓
Yes.	No.
Cool! Just send your submission on to me, then.	Well, if you have any other ideas, awesome! E-mail me with anything you think of, and I’ll be sure to find a spot for it in the January issue.

Phew! This article’s been a lot of work, cobbling together things I’ve already made and not really typing anything particularly new. But I don’t want to give you the impression that the issue as a whole is, as they say, weaksauce. I will—right now!—tell you exactly why it is NOT weaksauce.

For one, we have the once-in-a-lifetime, for-one-night-only return of Kevin Leacock’s 0wning the Competition, which, if my archives serve me, has been MIA since here.

And that’s not the only classic column that’s making a comeback this month! Christian Porter has ditched Top of the Heap this month in favor of our old Poor Player’s Paradise article, so if you’ve got nothing left after blowing all your money on Christmas gifts from our shop, then you might wanna check that out.

We’ve also got a lot of hate. GameCola, apparently, hates in-game advertising, the United States, and portals. We also don’t like Wind Waker all that much, or obnoxious Hellgate players. Help us vent these frustrations by reading the new issue, rating all our great articles, and posting comments, and we’ll see you next month, when our epic January issue hits the Intertubes!

Love,

Paul Franzen
editor in chief
e-mail: pfranzen@gamecola.net