(Editor’s note: This article was originally published in the January 2008 issue of GameCola, back when GameCola was published in a monthly online magazine format.)
Whatever happened to …? of the Month:
Whatever happened to Julie…Jenna….something or other who did a comic strip about a woman oppressed by the male game designers of the world? You know, the one with a naked picture of herself as her staff photo. Those comics were kind of amusing. More so than Loafy Carl. I know what happened to Loafy Carl, so I won’t ask about that.
But whatever happened to GameCola prizes? Didn’t we used to give them out every month to a member of our own staff, or my mom, and pretend like normal readers had a shot at winning, even though Kevin Leacock fixed the competition?
Whatever happened to the GameCola forums? Do people still post on them? People besides Paul and Eric. Did people ever post on them? Besides those 14-year-old kids with the pictures of old man anuses that so fascinated Paul.
Whatever happened to the advice column? The ORIGINAL advice column. The one written by Jenna…or Julie…something or other. What was it named, again? The one that we gave to Zack under a different name because she didn’t want anyone to take over her column, probably because someone other than her would do to it what I did to The Gates of Life.
Whatever happened to Games for a Woman? That column written by Julie…or Jenna…or something. The one where she wrote about The Sims and then…nothing?
And whatever happened to …of the Bimonth? Should I be writing about a Web site? Actually, wait, shouldn’t I be writing NOTHING, since I wrote this article on the first half of the bimonth already? Oh wait, I am writing nothing.
Well, that’s really to be expected. I’ve only done that every single issue for…however many issues we have had minus three.
HOWEVER! I will make something out of this mess. I want answers. Answers from all of the readers. What is that thing you remember from GameCola history that inexplicably disappeared, and you what to know where it went? Besides my coherence. Actually, I’m not sure I started with that. Nevermind. If your true answer is “nothing,” then make something up. Seriously, I am starved for content here. I’m like John McClane’s wife’s plane in Die Hard 2: Die Harder. Completely out of fuel. If you know, post!
P.S. Whatever happened to “Game on, my brothas and sistas”?