Welcome to “Speak American,” where we take a look at several games from all genres, formats and generations that have one thing in common—they all have the poor taste to speak some kind of gibberish that isn’t even American. We’ll examine these games to see if we unilingual Americans can actually play them and, if we can, to see if they’re worth playing in the first place.
Come waste a quarter-hour of your life that you can never get back with:
– Tsukikomori – A haunted house game that seems to be fixated with floating heads and video editing suites.
– Bio Miracle Bokutte Epa – A game in which a baby crawls around a world made of candy, braining pigs with his baby bottle.
– Momotaro Dentetsu – Ever play Monopoly but think to yourself, “This game needs more horses dressed like businessmen, demons, unicorn ladies, scenes of men eating fried chicken with cats in a sinking kayak, and women riding ghosts”? NO, OF COURSE YOU HAVEN’T! NOBODY HAS! WHO THE HELL MADE THIS GAME?!
– AND A SPECIAL GUEST APPEARANCE FROM PHOENIX WRIGHT!