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Archive for Author: Paul Franzen

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    Digital Championship Wrestling: Princess Peach vs. Princess Zelda in an Inferno Match

    Columns Columns by Paul Franzen on September 1, 2005

    Hello everyone, and welcome once again to Digital Championship Wrestling, live from the GameCola Arena! I'm Paul Franzen, and with me this eve is Eric Regan, and we are ready, absolutely ready, to provide you with some of the most entertaining pro-wrestling this Internet has to offer.

  • Super Battleship (SG)

    Reviews Reviews by Paul Franzen on September 1, 2005

    If you bought Super Battleship and you expected more than you got, it's YOU who has the problem, man, not Super Battleship.

  • Dear Readers: GameCola Statistics

    Columns Columns by Paul Franzen on September 1, 2005

    DID YOU KNOW THAT...11.1% of all GameCola staff members have been named "Matt?"

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    Digital Championship Wrestling: Billy vs. Jimmy

    Columns Columns by Paul Franzen on August 1, 2005

    Paul: Hello gamefans around the world, and welcome to this month's edition of Digital Championship Wrestling! My name's Paul Franzen, and with me, always and forever, is Eric "d00d quit letting me die

  • The Amazing Virtual Sea-Monkeys (PS1)

    Reviews Reviews by Paul Franzen on August 1, 2005

    Somewhere, somehow, somewhen, someone thought that The Next Big Thing for gaming would be a title based on Sea-Monkeys. Think about it.

  • Dear Readers: Out of Their Minds

    Columns Columns by Paul Franzen on August 1, 2005

    For the longest time, I couldn't play Out of This World, the acclaimed side-scroller in which, as one GameFAQs user put it, "failure is almost unavoidable." I was too scared to. Right at the beginning of the game, there are these evil slug monsters who jump completely out of nowhere and kill you instantly. They're impossible to avoid—at least, they were for a a ten-year old who'd only just recently mastered tying his shoes—and they always jolted the poo out of me.

  • Paper Mario (N64)

    Reviews Reviews by Paul Franzen on July 1, 2005

    I wanted ever so badly to hate Paper Mario.

  • The GameCola Interview: Greg Johnson

    Columns Columns by Paul Franzen on July 1, 2005

    Chances are if you're reading this, you love ToeJam Earl. Chances are that you love the first one, aren't a big fan of the second one, and haven't yet had a chance to play the third one. Chances are

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    Digital Championship Wrestling: Cloud vs. Karnov in a Ladder Match

    Columns Columns by Paul Franzen on July 1, 2005

    Paul: Hello again everyone, and welcome to the BEST sports entertainment promotion outside of the World Series of Darts, Digital Championship Wrestling. As always I'm Paul Franzen, and with me this ev

  • Dear Readers: Why Adventure Games Are Dead.

    Columns Columns by Paul Franzen on July 1, 2005Comments3

    Having now played Broken Sword: The Sleeping Dragon, Escape from Monkey Island, and King's Quest: Mask of Eternity, I now know why nobody makes adventure games anymore: Because the games are festering puddles of squid waste.

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