Archive for Author: Paul Franzen

  • The Gates of Life: Episode 35 – DIE!!

    Columns Columns by Paul Franzen on

    Seconds 46-47: The sword finds its mark. Genericus is defeated.

  • Mario Party 7 (GCN)

    Reviews Reviews by Paul Franzen on

    Before we begin, a few select quotes from everyone's favorite source of opinionated fanjerks, GameFAQs: "Let's all still party like its 1999!" "We've done it all before, and it has been done before be

  • Dear Readers: Another n00b Bites the Dust

    Columns Columns by Paul Franzen on

    Do do do. Another n00b bites the dust. Though, unlike so many of our n00bs of yore, who couldn't handle the intensitude of writing one entire videogame review every single month, Shawn Sackenheim did not leave because he was lazy. Shawn Sackenheim, in all seriousness, left because of medical injury.

  • Digital Championship Wrestling: Guybrush Threepwood vs. Karate Champ

    Columns Columns by Paul Franzen on

    Paul: Hello everyone, and welcome back to the BEST goshdarn sports entertainment this side of G.L.O.W.—Digital Championship Wrestling. I'm Paul Franzen, and with me, once again, forever, and ever, and ever, and always, is "Captain" Eric Regan.

  • Dear Readers: GTA is Boring.

    Columns Columns by Paul Franzen on

    A few weeks ago, as I was on my way to writing about the top ten dining room chairs for my summer internship, I finally figured out exactly why the GTA series irks me so much.

  • Digital Championship Wrestling: Ecco the Dolphin vs. Cecil

    Columns Columns by Paul Franzen on

    Paul: Live from the Jersey shore, it's Digital Championship Wrestling! Hello everyone I'm Paul Franzen, alongside Eric "Sniffles" Regan, and this one sure promises to be a barnburner! Ain't that right, Sniffles?

  • Chibi-Robo! (GCN)

    Reviews Reviews by Paul Franzen on Comments1

    My mom and I had a bonding moment the other day, when we were discussing cleaning. I'd spent much of the past few weeks cleaning my apartment—the kitchen, the bathroom, the floors, etc.—only to ha

  • Dear Readers: The Inventor of l33t

    Columns Columns by Paul Franzen on

    You can thank me. You—yeah, you with the teeth—can thank me. I did something ages ago that bettered your life, and I'm not talking about the time I figured out how to put on both socks using only my feet. (You think it sounds easy? Try it sometime.) I'm not even talking about GameCola, though goodness knows many lives has been bettered by that.

  • Figure Fours and Magic Eights: WWE Judgement Day 2006

    Columns Columns by Paul Franzen on

    As I absolutely did not predict, Figure Fours and Magic Eights actually pulled through for us last month! We went 8 for 11 in our WrestleMania XXII predictions, only missing a world title match, a Money in the Bank ladder match and one of the chick matches.

  • Dear Readers: Psychology

    Columns Columns by Paul Franzen on

    Just the other day in psych, my professor said the craziest thing I have ever heard in my entire life. He said, and I quote, that "girls are better at videogames than guys."