• Mario Party 8 (Wii)

    Note: This article was originally published on G-Faqs in August 2007. Below is an edited version of the review, edited because 16-year-old Zach Rich didn’t need to PROOFREAD HIS FUCKING WORK, and because I couldn’t say words that eat away at my soul. The pictures and footnotes are all new content, too, so I’m shelling this off … Continue reading "Mario Party 8 (Wii)"

  • Soul Calibur (DC)

    To commemorate the invention of the eight-way run, I'm going to have Paul do something special to this review. Paul, I'd like you to have the text of my review spiral out from the center in eight diff

  • The Gates of Life: Episode 58 – No Lips?

    Queuemigi: I want the Warp Whistle.

  • ActRaiser 2 (SNES)

    (Editor's note: This article is Part 3 of a three-part series of reviews by Meteo Xavier.) No...no more! No more! *BAM* R.I.P. METEO XAVIER He died the same way he lived—as a virgin. Please donate t

  • Quantum Geek: Episode 4 – Final Oxymoron VII

    The situation had taken a radical turn for Tom. After barely surviving his experiences in Contra and Super Mario Bros., he had been deposited by IDEAS in Final Fantasy VII as the game's protagonist,

  • Gamer Girlfriend: Pink is for Girls

    After the seriousness of last month’s column, I thought I would take a step back this month and look at something a little bit lighter. After debating several possible topics, including “Why I Will Never (Ever) Play War Games” and “Shockwave is a Bitch,” I decided that it might be interesting to take a look at one of my experiences with gaming as it relates to my, ahem, femininity.

  • Inside the Guide: American Activity Book

    Hello everyone, and welcome to Inside the Guide. In honor of the Fourth of July, I'm taking a holiday and not writing a column this month. Instead, I'm going to share some Fourth of July puzzles with

  • Ys / Super R-Type / Mystery Quest

    (Editor's note: This article is Part 2 of a three-part series of reviews by Meteo Xavier.) Sometimes I wonder if games like these were designed for future generations instead of the ones in which they

  • testgame.exe: Making the Adventure

    Hello everyone, and welcome back to another fun-filled look at the progress of everyone's (i.e. my) favorite yet-to-be-even-close-to-finished-point-and-click adventure game, in this month's edition of

  • Quake II (N64)

    What follows is part one of a three-part journey into madness. Meteo X, a man whom God himself deemed unfit for humanity and therefore biologically categorized him as prime rib striplets, found hims