• Rocket Knight (PC)

    This is the most difficult review I will ever write. Don't get me wrong—I know exactly what I feel about Rocket Knight, the long-awaited new adventure for one of the 16-bit generation's cult heroes.

  • Gamera Obscura: Yume Penguin Monogatari

    There's this game called "Yume Penguin Monogatari" for the ol' Famicom. Prepared by the almighty Konami, it never made it overseas, and it didn't star any whip-wielding characters. Instead, it stars some of their lesser-known mascots: a penguin named Penta. Perhaps you've seen this guy in Antarctic Adventure or the beloved Parodius series. He's never been much of a major player in the videogame circuit, considering he has no discernible personality. But don't let that fool you: he's all man.

  • Dance Dance Revolution SuperNova (Arcade)

    Now for something completely different: a review of an arcade videogame. You know, the big machines you pump quarters into? This review does contain Emi Toshiba, so there is at least one good reason t

  • Dance Dance Revolution S (iPhone)

    "Dancing," they call it. It's more like smashing your feet really hard on a metal box in time with arrows that are barely in time with the music. The spacing for your feet on the dance machine is awfu

  • Mystical Ninja Starring Goemon (N64)

    Games from early in a console's life often feel a tad like they're missing something. Have you played Red Steel? Of course you have, and you're scarred for life because of it. This pain is nothing; d

  • How Many Times Do They Need to Ruin Ninja Turtles?

    Ubisoft recently announced that they'll be making a brand-new Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles side-scrolling beat 'em up for the DS. Right now, you're probably thinking that this is the Best News You'v

  • Silent Hill (PS1)

    One thing I did not expect to do was to become freaked out enough to turn off my console and leave my house.

  • Cruis’n USA (N64)

    No matter how successful you are, you'll always have to start again from square one. That's how things work in Cruis'n USA.

  • Castlevania: Aria of Sorrow (GBA)

    If you are fond of previous Castlevania games, this should be right up your alley.

  • Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Fall of the Foot Clan (GB)

    We gaming sheep will never stop wanting to help Donnie and the boys save April. It just won't happen. Ever.