Welcome to “Carbonated News,” the column where we get you up-to-date on all the latest outdated gaming news. Our last two columns were about videogame conferences, but that’s not the case this month (July), as there were no big conferences recently. Well, except for Comic-Con 2009, but we’re not going to report about what happened there because we’re sick and tired of hearing people talk about how awesome Comic-Con is, with all its displays about TV shows that were cancelled before we were born, and panels featuring the entire cast of Twilight. If you’re into that sort of thing, great! We’re not, however, so please stop lecturing us about it.
That said, here’s the news for this month:
- In an interview with Nintendo Power, Shigeru Miyamoto talked some more about Wii Zelda. Specifically, he says that he doesn’t think “it’s going to be that radically different.” Miyamoto has also confirmed that the game will use Wii MotionPlus only. Based off this information, we here at “Carbonated News” can only assume that when he says Wii Zelda won’t be radically different, he means that it will be a blatant attempt to use Zelda to sell new controllers, just like Link’s Crossbow Training.
- For those of you who haven’t read the Guinness Book of World Records in the past twenty years, Guinness was bought by a “cool” new company that decided to turn it into a picture book, the idea being that people would rather see pictures of Tom Cruise than, say, look up world records. And so it comes as no surprise that Guinness announced a new record for most points scored on a game of Guitar Hero. Our two new gaming superstars can now rest easy in the knowledge that they are the best fake musicians ever.
- Jonathan Blow (designer/programmer of Braid) is working on a new project. He recently placed some want ads, looking for graphics people to join the team for this project, which is “a puzzle-exploration game that is philosophical, and quiet, and is being made for reasons other than crass profit motive.” Already, this sounds like it will be an excellent game, and we’ll certainly check back in with this two years from now.
- Unlike Mr. Blow, however, most videogame companies are having massive layoffs, including Sony Online Entertainment, Midway (which actually went bankrupt), and Eidos (which has been merged with Square Enix).
- In almost completely opposite news, the videogame market is doing superbly well for Nintendo. They managed to sell 441,400 copies of the Wii MotionPlus before Wii Sports Resort (the first major game to use the Wii MotionPlus) was released. They also sold a ton of new DSis (more than all the home console combined), which has been credited to the release of Dragon Quest 9 in Japan.
- Will Nintendo start offering NES games for purchase on the DSi, just like the Virtual Console? Although there have been no rumors to this effect, one has to wonder—does Nintendo still care about the Virtual Console, or are they now focusing on the DSi? There were only two games released for Virtual Console in July, while five DSiWare games were released. This makes Wii owners DSi-rate.
- Silicon Knights, the company that made Eternal Darkness: Sanity’s Requiem, is working on another psychological thriller. They haven’t released any details about the project, but the Canadian government (which is helping to fund the project) has officially tied a videogame named Siren in the Maelstrom to Silicon Knights. Is this the title of the upcoming psychological thriller? Is it a different project that the company is working on? What exactly is a Maelstrom? Are there Femaelstroms? Only time will tell.
- Remember how we mentioned Jonathan Blow, creator of Braid, a few bullet points back? Well, he has to be excited that Braid is coming to PSN.
And that’s the news for July of 2009, by jingo! Coming to you in…September?
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