• Sonic CD (SCD)

    ...new aspect pushing Sonic CD into the number-one spot for the Genesis CD attachment was the time-travel system. During gameplay, when you run into a signpost saying “Past” or “Future,”...

  • [NSFW] Oh, the Humanity!: Tomb Raider

    ...movie is spent trying to establish that Lara Croft is super-cool. She’s always listening to techno music and cruising around in any number of stylish vehicles. Mostly, the movie attempts...

  • Phantom Fighter (NES)

    ...this game for going slightly above the standards of NESdom (retrospectantly shallow programming, lame translations, short game time and low replay value in the modern world) for a number of...

  • Yu-Gi-Oh!: Nightmare Troubadour (DS)

    ...circling crap or quickly poking dots on the screen or blowing into the microphone (why the hell should anyone ever blow into a microphone anyway? It’s actually pretty irritating when...

  • Jewel Knights Crusaders (PC) [NSFW]

    ...actually offensive in a number of other ways, believe it or not. For starters, there is no gameplay in this “game.” Even the Hugo trilogy has vastly superior gameplay to...

  • The Gates of Life: Episode 48 – Minotaur’s Gate

    ...but is a voice cracking really– Bar-Bar: Try the second power, you BASTARD SONOFABITCH WHORE. Necrostreeb: Yeah! Power number two!! Streebless: I mean, power number one was great!! Don’t get...

  • Bokosuka Wars (NES)

    ...some characters respond later than others. Other than that, no real faults for it. Replay Value: 6/10 This is just giving it a number for the sake of giving it...

  • Dear Readers: Rebirth of a Forums

    ...August 1, 2007 Dear Readers, My Fanzens! Welcome, my teeming Fanzens, to your number-one source of videogame fairy tales, furries, and hentai boobs: GameCola.net. We’ve got one humdinger of a...

  • … of the Month: I’m Not Giving You Any Money, Gina

    ...me out for owing you money. Psh. BUT, this isn’t about money, is it? No, this is about GameCola’s number one menace: Furries. First, let me get this out of...

  • Dear Readers: MAGFest 5

    ...20740 February 1, 2007 Number of videogame conventions I have attended: 4 Number of videogame conventions that have given me, completely unexpectedly, dog tags with the name “Paul ‘gamecola’ Franzen”...