Fabricated News: New Videogame Releases for Week 4

Fabricated News: New Videogame Releases for Week 4

The last week of the month is here, and it couldn’t have come any sooner, by jingo. I’m running out of ways to make jokes about videogames I’ve never heard of before, after doing this column for three weeks in a row. So, without further ado, let’s enjoy the end of February! Here are some of the games that came out this week:

  • Heavy Rain: Because everyone loves videogames about the weather.
  • Napoleon: Total War: The sequel to the somewhat-popular Napoleon: Partial War, this game gives a more complete version of the story of the French dictator’s attempt to take over the world. Included in this game are lesser-known moments in Napoleon’s life, like the time he challenged the King of England to a limbo contest, or the time a con artist pretended to be his twin brother (claiming they never met before because they were Born-apart).

napoleon

  • Sonic and Sega All-Stars Racing, as you may remember, got stuck in development for an extra six months when they couldn’t find a second Sega All-Star. They eventually settled for Billy Hatcher and the Super Monkey Ball monkeys.
  • Space Mission: Land on Mars was cancelled by NASA, because they couldn’t planet correctly.
  • Faceez is a craaaaaaazy game where you can do craaaaaaazy things like take pictures of your friends and give them pirate hats. Boy, the DSi is looking better and better every day! The name of the game is spelled wrong, which means it must be cool!

Yar.

  • Sled Shred featuring the Jamaican Bobsled Team and Winter Blast: Snow and Ice Games are two more games meant to capitalize on the success of the Winter Olympics. That makes about ten such games this month. *Sigh*…
  • Art of Murder: Cards of Destiny is a game where you star as high school student Steven Melchenski, who finds a set of blank playing cards and starts drawing on them during a boring physics lecture, not knowing that they are The Cards of Destiny, which means everything drawn on them comes to life. The game starts off with some lighthearted adventures as Steven uses the cards to help him get a girlfriend, but things quickly get dramatic when a crazed serial killer steals 20 of the cards, and Steven is thrown into a desperate battle to get the world back to normal.
  • Finally, Flight Control. I’m pretty sure that GC staff writer Nathaniel Hoover made a video review for this game.

So those are some of the new games from this week. Let’s wrap this column up by giving out the Gaming Olympics awards!

The Gold Medal goes to…Faceez, for extreme pirate fun!
The Silver Medal goes to…Heavy Rain, because I love the weather!
The Bronze Medal goes to…Finland, for being awesome!

Thus ends February 2010, the month of the Olympics. So long, everyone!


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Article rating: 8.00 BEARDS out of 10

About the Author

Michael Gray is a staff writer for GameCola, who focuses on adventure games, videos and writing videogame walkthroughs.
Email: mgray@gamecola.net