• Fabricated News: E3 Predictions

    ...proudly give “exclusive looks” at their upcoming games, because they know “exclusive looks” is code for “free advertising.” I actually did some research on this topic, and games that you...

  • E3 2012: The Microsoft Press Conference

    ...a new and mature direction.” I think that’s code for “let’s see how much horrible stuff we can put Lara Croft through.” First, villains open fire on her, and she...

  • Resident Evil 4 HD (PSN)

    ...Perhaps “a few” is an understatement. Capcom still plans on riding the RE4 wave for another six years or so, so they’ve sent us a review code so we can...

  • Contest Results

    ...wants to turn the apocalypse into an a-cop-alypse. Congratulations to BaozakergaX! Email mgray@gamecola.net for your Steam download code, so you can play Resonance yourself and root for the police officer!...

  • [NSFW] Oniken (PC)

    I was really excited to score this review code. I’m not necessarily an NES enthusiast the way so many neo-retro games these days are built to cater to, but I...

  • The Typing of the Dead (DC)

    ...nothing more to say about this. … Except, “Why?” Wait! Maybe this is a metaphor for Sega. The character represents the developers, feverishly typing code to prevent assimilation with other...

  • E3 2011: The Microsoft Press Conference

    ...a jacket. They must have a dress code at this event. They immediately cut into a preview for SSX, the reboot of the SSX snowboarding franchise. It looks like it...

  • Gamer Girlfriend: Love, Jealousy, and Farming

    ...affections, but he was also a bro, dammit, and the Code of Manly Solidarity did not permit him to stand idly by while another man was being so slighted. Jealousy...

  • Spider-Man (PC)

    ...it’s very hard! You can also enter cheat codes if you get stuck, or want to get the other costumes early, or if you’re lazy like me, UNLOCK EVERYTHING! Another...

  • Madden NFL ’94 (SNES)

    ...it “in the game”? Is “it” the American football spirit, the pride and quality of the American software developer, or something more literal like assembly code? Another unsolved mystery. But,...