Archive for Tag: Matt Gardner

  • .hack//G.U. Vol. 3: Redemption (PS2)

    Reviews Reviews by Matt Gardner on

    Why do people read reviews? I'm sure there are lots of reasons, like they want to read bad reviews so they can link them on GameFAQs in a topic called "ROFL this reviewer sucks," in which they can ber

  • … of the Month: Hellgate: London

    Columns Columns by Matt Gardner on

    If you’ve ever played Hellgate: London, you probably balked at that. And I understand. Really, I do. But just hear me out. I know there is a plethora of glitches and other annoyances in Hellgate right now, but there is also a lot of potential! Even though I can't go through a single zone in that game without being warped back to the start, booted from the game, made invisible so that my party members can't see me, or just straight up crashed/frozen and forced into a hard reboot, I still keep playing. If a game can be so fun that you keep playing it even though you are inevitably going to run into a million annoyances that pretty much ruin the game, imagine how good it will be when they fix all of that!

  • The Gates of Life: Episode 51 – Render Goes Flying off a Cliff

    Columns Columns by Matt Gardner on

    Narrator: ...Bar-Bar head-butted Render Girl in the gut and sent her flying off the side of the cliff!

  • The Gates of Life: Episode 49 – Let’s Not Be Too Hasty

    Columns Columns by Matt Gardner on

    Narrator: The yellow light hit Rivers square in his big snout, and then, nothing happened. ...Until the TGoL AllStars all realized how slowly Rivers was now moving.

  • … of the Month: What Keeps You Writing for GameCola?

    Columns Columns by Matt Gardner on

    With the recent loss of Steve Hamner, coupled with the fact that I haven’t received a paycheck in the five years I've been here, I’ve been wondering: Why do our writers stay with us, here at GameCola? It’s completely voluntary (in most cases), and there is no monetary compensation for the work put in. Also, we save very few lives. so you can’t really even feel like a better human for having worked here (or can you?).

  • … of the Month: I’m Not Giving You Any Money, Gina

    Columns Columns by Matt Gardner on

    As if you are the first person to make a YouTube video and call me out for owing you money. Psh. BUT, this isn't about money, is it? No, this is about GameCola's number one menace: Furries.

  • .hack//G.U. Vol. 2: Reminisce (PS2)

    Reviews Reviews by Matt Gardner on

    The .hack//G.U. series, like the previous .hack videogame series, is basically a set of installments of one big game. With that in mind, I decided to write my G.U. reviews like a set of installments

  • … of the Month: Best Guest Host EVER

    Columns Columns by Matt Gardner on

    Since I was inexplicably in the Caribbean last month instead of doing my GameCola work, Captain Eric had to take over ...of the Month for me. He did a fine job for someone who isn't on the level of MEGAGOD like me, and I got to wondering: Just who is the greatest guest writer that OTM has ever seen? For reference, every single one of the guest written oTM segments will be linked right here:

  • The Gates of Life: Episode 47: Give Them Liberty?

    Columns Columns by Matt Gardner on

    QM Boy: Actually, I think the best revenge we could take would be to just leave them here. They're gonna die anyway; why should we make that happen any faster?

  • … of the Month: Top 10 Most Badass Videogame Women!

    Columns Columns by Matt Gardner on

    OK, there’s not really much to say here, other than the following list is arranged from 10 to 1 with 1 being the most badass videogame woman of all time. I will, as always, be hoping to have reader feedback. More on that after the list! Oh, one note: All of these characters are party members or controlled by the player in some way. I’m not including anyone who just appears in a videogame.