Archive for Tag: The Gates of Life
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The Gates of Life: Episode 55 – Narrators Gone Wild
Columns by Matt Gardner on 
1 Render Girl: That's not how this was supposed to go down! You were definitely just supposed to give me my penis back.
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The Gates of Life: Episode 54 – Rendered Asunder
Columns by Paul Franzen on 1 Disguised Neo-Narrator (DNN): Flying around the completely floorless Castle of Wonderment on their giant antelope butterfly, Rivers and DNN came across Render Girl, who, unbeknownst to anyone but her, had just put the finishing touches on the ingenious mechanism she had designed for the sole purpose of keeping Rivers and DNN at bay.
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The Gates of Life: Episode 53 – This Gate is a Trap
Columns by Matt Gardner on DNN: See that castle up there? We need to get to that castle. Just climb aboard this giant antelope butterfly.
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The Gates of Life: Episode 52 – Beautiful!
Columns by Paul Franzen on Rivers: Wow, look at all those giant forest cacti! And the sour apple lollipop ice fountains! And look, there are some dancing summer spring antelope butterflies! This place is a dream come true!
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The Gates of Life: Episode 51 – Render Goes Flying off a Cliff
Columns by Matt Gardner on Narrator: ...Bar-Bar head-butted Render Girl in the gut and sent her flying off the side of the cliff!
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The Gates of Life: Episode 50 – Old Enemies (Render Girl vs. Bar-Bar)
Columns by Paul Franzen on Bar-Bar: DIE!
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The Gates of Life: Episode 49 – Let’s Not Be Too Hasty
Columns by Matt Gardner on Narrator: The yellow light hit Rivers square in his big snout, and then, nothing happened. ...Until the TGoL AllStars all realized how slowly Rivers was now moving.
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The Gates of Life: Episode 48 – Minotaur’s Gate
Columns by Paul Franzen on Jonathan: I'm back, and with three new Minotaur powers!
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The Gates of Life: Episode 47: Give Them Liberty?
Columns by Matt Gardner on QM Boy: Actually, I think the best revenge we could take would be to just leave them here. They're gonna die anyway; why should we make that happen any faster?
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The Gates of Life: Episode 46 – Hold on a Minute!
Columns by Paul Franzen on Rivers Duo: What the hell?! You can’t just KILL me! I’m so coming back, and there’s not a damn thing you can do about it! Enrique, CUT OPEN THIS SEA BEAR!!