I am pleased and bewildered to announce that I am officially engaged!
No, this article does not belong under “Fiction.” Stop it.
Evidently, prolonged exposure to GameCola leads to spontaneous engagement, marriage, and combustion, as we’ve seen from Paul and Lizo, Mike and Vangie, Edgeworth and Von Karma, Michael Gray and the princess, and Christian Porter and His Probably Not Imaginary Wife (we still can’t believe he’s married, and I don’t even know if he was hitched before joining the staff, but he’s as likely as anyone to catch on fire). Oh, and let’s not rule out Zach Rich, because his sudden disappearance from the GameCola staff was never conclusively linked to the MOOOOOOOOOON PEOPLE.
I’ve already described my appropriately geeky four–part proposal story in nauseatingly sweet detail on my blog, so I’m’a direct you there for specifics. The short version is that my relentless enthusiasm for Mega Man helped to secure me a member of the fairer sex as a future permanent fixture in my home, so don’t ever listen when your fellow staff members beg you to talk about other games, or you’ll never get engaged to my girlfriend by presenting her with a ring-bearing statue of Ring Man from Mega Man 4 made entirely out of LEGOs.
That’s pretty awesome. I wish I were as cool as me.
[The story continues in “A Very GameCola Wedding 3: Wed Hard with a Vengeance”.]