[NSFW] Crystalis D&Dcast – Part 2: Cave Story

Caves. Combat. Criticals. It's the second installment of GameCola's Crystalis-themed Dungeons & Dragons podcast!

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Crystalis-Title-2Story Navigation: | Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5 | Part 6 | Part 7 | Part 8 | Part 9 | Part 10 |

Having emerged from the frigid tunnels of Mt. Sabre after spending the better part of their adult lives at the inn, our four heroes—Alex “Zebu” Jedraszczak, Christian “Tornel” Porter, Vangie “Asina” Ridgaway, and Mike “Kensu” Ridgaway—promptly go back into the tunnels.

Crystalis-Cave-Combat

In this virtually all-combat installment, you’ll hear…

  • Further proof that Mike Ridgaway is a sick, sick man.
  • Productive self-decapitation.
  • An enemy guard get paralyzed so hard that it freezes the DM’s brain and causes him to forget the man is paralyzed at all.
  • An enemy monster hide so well in the shadows that the DM doesn’t realize he’s hiding in the shadows, causing him to forget his concealment bonus altogether.
  • Nobody cares about Stom. Poor, poor Stom.

…and much, much more! But not too much, much more, because it’s, like, half an hour of fighting. In game time, though, that’s only about two minutes, so any sensation of this atrociously drawn-out battle taking forever is purely your imagination.

The adventure continues here!

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About the Contributor


Since 2009

Nathaniel Hoover is almost certainly GameCola's most verbose staff member, and arguably the most eclectic. As administrator of the GameCola YouTube channel (GCDotNet), occasional contributor to every article category on the site, and staff editor, you're pretty much stuck with him wherever you go. Sorry.

6 Comments

  1. Is the death description a part of the game, a popular aspect, or just your own personal flavor?

    Don’t underestimate the power of being good at Carmen San Diego.

    Zooop!

    Wait! But we never figured out how he was going to completely break the game! NOW WE WILL NEVER KNOW!

  2. My wife has been in the hospital. These really helped me through a tough time by helping my smile a bit. Not to get too sentimental…

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