Remember forever ago when we first announced a video playthrough of Zero Escape: Virtue’s Last Reward, the sequel to 999: Nine Hours, Nine Persons, Nine Doors, which we also covered in a series of videos?
No? Wisconsin recalled a bunch of cheese, Edward Snowden confessed he’d been reading your e-mails, and the Vatican fired two popes out of a cannon. How could you forget that week?
Let me examine you to see if you’re feeling OK…
Picking up where we left off…um…over a year ago, rejoin Michael Gray and his rotating roster of guest commentators (it’s the roster that rotates, but the guests rotate, too, if you spin them around) as they talk their way through the next portion of this massive video series. Spinning spectators Diana Gray and Nikola Suprak participate in parts 4-7, and here’s what to expect:
- Michael sends everyone to the infirmary. Interpret that as you will.
- We learn about Radical-6, a punk rock group that…oh, it’s a deadly virus? I should really watch these videos.
- Murder! Betrayal! Rock-paper-scissors!
- Nikola posits that the person in the robot suit is really the Ninth Man from the previous game. You know—the one who exploded all over the walls. Now would be an appropriate time to shut off your imagination.
- Quark has a snack hat.
- Quark has a knife.
- Quark has a death wish. This has gone downhill quickly from “snack hat”.
- Having seen The Matrix, Sigma chooses the blue door instead of the red door in the hopes of waking up from this bad dream, rather than the alternative of staying in the Nonary Game and seeing how deep Zero Jr.’s rabbit-ho—actually, let’s talk about something else.
- The terror of knowing what this world is about. Watching some total strangers screaming, “Seek a Way Out!” This is our last dance. This is ourselves. Under the Pressure Exchange Chamber.
- The obligatory Pac-Man discussion. Wait, did I say something other than My Little Pony? I meant My Little Pony.
- Clover tries using her feminine wiles to get Sigma to betray Tenmyouji. Lesson learned: It is better to trust an old man than be seduced by a cavewoman.
- Alice is found dead with a knife sticking out of a bloody wound in her chest. This happens multiple times throughout this videos series, and inevitably, I am always eating pasta with red sauce when it happens.
- Diana unveils an elaborate conspiracy theory that, in a departure from most conspiracy theories, involves aliens.
- The obligatory…did I say My Little Pony yet? OK, then the obligatory Phoenix Wright discussion.
- Doritos. They talk about Doritos. Clearly this game is not interesting enough.
- Dio acts like a jerk. Don’t worry; it’s probably an isolated incident.
- Whoa, wiggly wobbly drugs.
- We hear about Radical-9, a genre-shifting band that…hey, they stole my joke.
- Clover gets upset, but lacking a proper “angry” animation, she defaults to her happy face as she points and shouts.
- The Nonary Game is really just a rehab program for perverts and alcoholics.
- The person who kidnapped us and threatened us with death lectures us about termites.
- A root beer float! …But it’s not for you.
Oh, I guess you could also just watch the videos.
The walkthrough-worthy gameplay depicted in these videos was recorded by Michael using state-of-the-art “propping up an iPad in front of a 3DS” technology, and is also available without commentary. Of course, that’s not the video series you want to watch, because you’ll hurt everyone’s feelings. Instead, be sure to watch the full video series with commentary. STOP REACHING FOR THAT OTHER LINK I’M WATCHING YOU.