[NSFW] Zero Escape: Virtue’s Last Reward Playthrough – Part 3: Everyone Dies, Including the Commentators

In honor and loving memory of GameCola’s late founder and first Editor-in-Chief, who passed on in 2013, I am proud to carry on our annual tradition of writing about a few more videos from the last video series that Paul Franzen officially participated in before never being heard from again, may he rest in peace. I don’t know what’s worse—that it’s been over two years and we’re not even halfway through writing about these episodes of Zero Escape: Virtue’s Last Reward, or that it’s been over two years and we still haven’t completed recording.

Go ahead and get caught up on Parts 1-3 and Parts 4-7 of this mystery- and murder-filled visual novel before Michael “Still in Need of a Sandwich” Gray, Nathaniel “Yours Truly” Hoover, and Nikola “Writes Better Video Recaps Than Yours Truly” Suprak take you along for a madcap thrill ride that includes:

• Scratching apart a woman’s clothing. Well, that’s a fine way to start off a bulleted list.
• The serious implications of an apple betraying a banana. I don’t know if this list is getting better or worse.
• Further evidence that the characters have no grasp of appropriate body language, unless “I poked myself in they eye but I’m playing it cool” is what we do instead of crossing our arms now.
• A confession that Nikola enjoys waking up to the sound of hedgehogs drowning.
• Someone setting us up the bomb. You might think I’m making a tired old reference, but in fact, the heroes also have no chance to survive, they traded Cats for a bunny, and when eliminating players from the game with 0 BP, they take off every Sigma, so Zero Escape is clearly a remake of Zero Wing.
• A video that ends with drugs, like we’re suddenly in a Cheech & Chong movie. A very violent Cheech & Chong movie with time travel and an ice cube slider block puzzle, but still.
• A discussion about Star Trek, following and followed by a mention of Mega Man, which only means that Nathaniel hasn’t left yet.
• Alice’s tragic backstory, which makes Michael want to talk about drinking at an overpriced Happy Hour. Dude needs some better coping mechanisms.
• A huge explosion that necessitates a new cast of commentators next video.

Parts 8-10 are below for your viewing pleasure, and I’m sure we’ll be back in another year or so to talk about Parts 11-14. Alternately, why not check out the full playlist on YouTube? Don’t worry; you can always jump back to this point in the story later if you make the wrong decision.