• Exile trilogy (PC)

    ...until next month? GameCola’s new shift means you’ll have a reason to check us out every day. That means more $$$ for us (for lack of an American cent symbol...

  • Mega Man 2 (NES)

    ...American whose gaming skill is vastly inferior to that of a Japanese toddler” (mislabeled as “Normal”). In the watered-down version, your weapons do more damage to the bosses, and certain...

  • Wild Arms 3 (PS2)

    ...and then there’s the Native American shaman with a sawed-off shotgun who’s surprisingly useless in battle. Basically, this game is just a wild west Dragon Warrior. That’s what it eventually...

  • Mega Man (NES)

    Long ago, there was a time when Zero was merely the amount of fashion sense the average American had, when Battle Network was just a pet name for the TV...

  • Super Mario Bros. 3 (NES)

    ...it has. Few things in life ever live up to their hype. Indie music. Buddha. Apple pie. David Cronenberg films. Seth McFarlane, although I’ve really warmed up to American Dad...

  • Dragon Warrior (NES)

    ...Dragon Quest in Japan somehow actually managed to be worse than the American release. Well, OK, it’s likely that the Japanese RPG scene would have turned out the same, even...

  • Q&AmeCola: Anger-Inducing Games

    ...the creator of “Top of the Heap,” “Power Gloves & Tinfoil Hats,” the video series “Speak American,” and also some other stuff.) Jeff Day Tiny Toon Adventures The last game...

  • Breath of Fire III (PS1)

    ...prices were soaring due to a nationwide shortage, leaving the average American with little else to do but fart into their gas tank, praying to Satan that it would work....

  • Impaired Closed Captioning: Super Mario Galaxy 2

    ...Mario and the YouTube Closed Captioning weren’t satisfied with attacking the American government. They quickly set their sights on a new target: the conflict in the Middle East. I was...

  • Carbonated News: E3 2009 Preview

    ...show-stopping musical numbers, and Meteo can grow facial hair at will. Dead Rising 2: Great, I haven’t played the original version of this game, either. Anyway, it’s a mixture of...