Archive for Category: Columns

  • Dear Readers: Out of Their Minds

    Columns Columns by Paul Franzen on

    For the longest time, I couldn't play Out of This World, the acclaimed side-scroller in which, as one GameFAQs user put it, "failure is almost unavoidable." I was too scared to. Right at the beginning of the game, there are these evil slug monsters who jump completely out of nowhere and kill you instantly. They're impossible to avoid—at least, they were for a a ten-year old who'd only just recently mastered tying his shoes—and they always jolted the poo out of me.

  • Captain Eric’s Super Thumb Feature Presentation

    Columns Columns by Eric Regan on

    Welcome to the latest edition of SUPER THUMBS! No doubt to leave you in another stupor of euphoria... as it always SHOULD. This month brings some new games I have recently gotten ahold of, as well as

  • testgame.exe: Making the Adventure

    Columns Columns by Elizabeth Medina-Gray on

    And speaking of video games, I'm sure there are just gobs of you readers out there waiting with bated breath for an update on the captivating new adventure game, TestGame.exe! Well, today just happens

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    The Gates of Life: Episode 24 – I Hate You All

    Columns Columns by Matt Gardner on

    Chapter Twenty-Four I Hate You All Narrator: As Captain Thomas "7-Eye" Render VI of Trelenodora stepped closer to the lair to see how close the Emo Dragon was to reaching them, Rivers placed his finge

  • The GameCola Interview: Greg Johnson

    Columns Columns by Paul Franzen on

    Chances are if you're reading this, you love ToeJam Earl. Chances are that you love the first one, aren't a big fan of the second one, and haven't yet had a chance to play the third one. Chances are

  • … of the Month: Sony PSP

    Columns Columns by Matt Gardner on

    The Sexiest Thing I Have Ever Seen in My Life of the MonthSony PSPI recently got a paycheck. Twelve minutes later I ordered the Sony PSP Dynasty Warriors Premium Pak whatever thing from gamestop.com.

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    Digital Championship Wrestling: Cloud vs. Karnov in a Ladder Match

    Columns Columns by Paul Franzen on

    Paul: Hello again everyone, and welcome to the BEST sports entertainment promotion outside of the World Series of Darts, Digital Championship Wrestling. As always I'm Paul Franzen, and with me this ev

  • [NSFW] Oh, the Humanity!: Tomb Raider: Cradle of Life

    Columns Columns by Zack Huffman on

    I had some difficulty with my review of the first Tomb Raider, mostly because the movie was boring and just plain lackluster. The second Tomb Raider flick is moreso. Frankly, I had trouble paying attention, so I may have gotten some of the plot of this movie wrong.

  • Dear Readers: Why Adventure Games Are Dead.

    Columns Columns by Paul Franzen on Comments3

    Having now played Broken Sword: The Sleeping Dragon, Escape from Monkey Island, and King's Quest: Mask of Eternity, I now know why nobody makes adventure games anymore: Because the games are festering puddles of squid waste.

  • … of the Month: Susan and Die Anstalt

    Columns Columns by Matt Gardner on

    Last month I did something that I often do in my writing, only this time it backfired and nearly destroyed my career. This thing being issuing some sort of challenge or asking for some kind of feedback that I have no doubt no one will dare to take up, respond to, or even read. Well, fellows, this month Satan popped up and pelted me right in the face with a snowball fresh from hell. One with a decently sized pebble in it, the bastard. Someone, whether purposefully or not, actually rose to the challenge!