• Dear Readers: Who Has Time to Play Games?

    I don't know about you guys, but I sure haven't been playing many video games lately. (Is it just me, or is this not the first time I've started off a "Dear Readers" with those words? Crazy.) What with schoolwork, transferring to another college, saving money for and purchasing Christmas gifts, and just being an all around loaf, it seems like I've gone an entire month without saving the world. Oh sure, I've died a few times in Way of the Samurai, rediscovered how annoying Legend of Mana is, punched a few deserving small children in Fable (honestly, can't they just quit making fun of me for not breaking the barrels?), and started to play the new GoldenEye (I'm enjoying it quite a bit so far -- look for a review next issue), but most of this month has been spent on things much less important than video games. For this, I am sorry.

  • … of the Month: Puffy AmiYumi

    Japanese Pop Band That You Can Listen to While Playing Games With Crappy Soundtracks of the Month: Puffy AmiYumi Now, I'm sure everyone reading this has already heard about Puffy AmiYumi (they are si

  • Great Moments in Gaming #5

    Metal Slug X, then. Just you (and maybe a friend) against the entire Morden army. But after six missions of pain, you realise that this isn't quite so one-sided. An entire alien race is looking to enslave Earth. Unbelievably, the Morden have sided with the aliens and the climactic battle is just you against the General -- he is commandeering an alien ship. You, obviously, defeat him. But is it over? No! The aliens take the General! They have betrayed their allies! The biggest Mothership in the entire world attacks you! It takes up the entire top half of the bloody screen! The Morden bring you a Metal Slug and help you to destroy it as it throws everything it's got at you. But you prevail -- destroying the Mothership! The General drops down, strapped to a heavy metal slab, and his men rejoice! Unfortunately, the slab falls over and crushes him. And then the game ends. Sheer. Brilliance.

  • Digital Championship Wrestling: Diddy Kong vs. Blanka

    Paul: Hello everyone again, and thanks for inviting us into your computer rooms on this cold December night! I'm Paul Franzen alongside Eric "guys, move back up the screen, I got stuck behind a wall a

  • Games for the Casual Gamer: Ford Racing 2

    College has robbed me of my pride, my joy, and my baby: my car. I love my silver 1999 RAV-4, and knowing that it lies dormant in a garage 300 miles from me is heartbreaking. Occasionally, my mom takes

  • Versus Mode: Carmen Sandiego vs. The Oregon Trail

    I had a bit of trouble coming up with a topic for Versus Mode this month, inasmuch as I haven't actually been playing any videogames lately; but I believe the subject I've conceived is a worthy one.

  • Captain Eric’s Super Thumb Feature Presentation

    It's the beginning of the month and that means it's SUPER THUMBS time. Now this edition I will go into games from FOUR different systems, a Super Thumbs first. Also another Super Thumbs first! All of

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    The Gates of Life: Episode 18 – An Intimidating Structure

    Large Stone Wall: Whooooooooooooo aaaaaaaaaaaaaaam IIIIIIIIIIII? Whyyyyyyy aaaaaaaaaaaam IIIIIIIIIIIIII aaaaaaaaaaaaa waaaaaaaaaaaaall?

  • … of the Month: Yu-Gi-Oh!: The Movie Soundtrack

    If you are asking yourself right now "What does the Yu-Gi-Oh! The Movie soundtrack have to do with video games?" then you clearly have not read the title. And you're an ass.

  • Great Moments in Gaming #4

    Playing Abe's Oddysee, you are tramping around Rupture Farms, experimenting with the buttons. You press a certain button combination and a flatulent sound is heard. Your brain goes into joy-spasms. Did --- did the lead character just FART? You try it again. Abe farts again. You cry tears of joy. Then you find a sleeping enemy and fart on him. He instantly wakes up and fillets you. You don't care --- ABE CAN, NAY, MUST FART AT WILL. When you find out that flatulence is integral to beating the game, you just laugh even harder.