• What the Crap?: I Pee, Therefore, I Am

    ...frog suit, or the fact that he can come to the surface!” Well, fuck you, there’s no breath gauge. Hell, Superman is nearly invincible and can throw cellophane S’s from...

  • Submissions (August 2005)

    ...the news I have come all the way out here to bring you. Of course if you’d rather make jokes, I can always catch the next Griffon back to Ironforge…”...

  • Action Video Monopoly (GB)

    ...be like calling Super Mario 64 “Super Oh My God, There’s Animation!” The graphics are about what you’d expect from a game called Monopoly, putting them slightly below what you’d...

  • Nidhogg (PC)

    ...down, thrusting it, or throwing it (in extreme cases), and is the core of the gameplay. Through parrying your opponent you can disarm them, allowing you to deliver a strike....

  • Dragon Warrior II (NES)

    ...up. Here it is. The moment you’ve been waiting for! Time to cruise on up to that castle and show Hargon what’s what. And you can’t do it. You can...

  • Bleach: Heat the Soul (PSP)

    ...earns points, which are spent on collectible playing cards. Every ten cards you get, you earn something new. At 100 points for a card, it takes ages to get anywhere,...

  • The Halo Mega Blog: Rated M for Mantis

    ...of mistake!—and even the cashier looked surprised when she scanned the model. Ecstatic, I took the model back home, not being able to believe I actually got it that cheap!...

  • StarSweep (PS1)

    ...can construct combinations faster than you can, and they can construct them better than you can. Perseverance will get you through but you’re in for some hard times. The dialogue...

  • Crimsonland Coming to Steam and PlayStation 4

    ...but with better graphics and without the song?”, and the answer is “yes”. “Yes, MAED is a cheap knockoff of a free game that came out several years earlier.” But...

  • Localization Anxiety: Nintendo World Cup

    ...so now it’s time to move onto Nintendo World Cup—the only soccer game I’ve ever cared in my whole life. For those who haven’t played this game before, Nintendo World...