Archive for Author: Matt Gardner
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The Gates of Life: Episode 51 – Render Goes Flying off a Cliff
Columns by Matt Gardner on Narrator: ...Bar-Bar head-butted Render Girl in the gut and sent her flying off the side of the cliff!
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The Gates of Life: Episode 49 – Let’s Not Be Too Hasty
Columns by Matt Gardner on Narrator: The yellow light hit Rivers square in his big snout, and then, nothing happened. ...Until the TGoL AllStars all realized how slowly Rivers was now moving.
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… of the Month: What Keeps You Writing for GameCola?
Columns by Matt Gardner on With the recent loss of Steve Hamner, coupled with the fact that I haven’t received a paycheck in the five years I've been here, I’ve been wondering: Why do our writers stay with us, here at GameCola? It’s completely voluntary (in most cases), and there is no monetary compensation for the work put in. Also, we save very few lives. so you can’t really even feel like a better human for having worked here (or can you?).
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… of the Month: I’m Not Giving You Any Money, Gina
Columns by Matt Gardner on As if you are the first person to make a YouTube video and call me out for owing you money. Psh. BUT, this isn't about money, is it? No, this is about GameCola's number one menace: Furries.
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.hack//G.U. Vol. 2: Reminisce (PS2)
Reviews by Matt Gardner on The .hack//G.U. series, like the previous .hack videogame series, is basically a set of installments of one big game. With that in mind, I decided to write my G.U. reviews like a set of installments
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… of the Month: Best Guest Host EVER
Columns by Matt Gardner on Since I was inexplicably in the Caribbean last month instead of doing my GameCola work, Captain Eric had to take over ...of the Month for me. He did a fine job for someone who isn't on the level of MEGAGOD like me, and I got to wondering: Just who is the greatest guest writer that OTM has ever seen? For reference, every single one of the guest written oTM segments will be linked right here:
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The Gates of Life: Episode 47: Give Them Liberty?
Columns by Matt Gardner on QM Boy: Actually, I think the best revenge we could take would be to just leave them here. They're gonna die anyway; why should we make that happen any faster?
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… of the Month: Top 10 Most Badass Videogame Women!
Columns by Matt Gardner on OK, there’s not really much to say here, other than the following list is arranged from 10 to 1 with 1 being the most badass videogame woman of all time. I will, as always, be hoping to have reader feedback. More on that after the list! Oh, one note: All of these characters are party members or controlled by the player in some way. I’m not including anyone who just appears in a videogame.
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The Gates of Life: Episode 45 – Negotiate Like Some Negotiators
Columns by Matt Gardner on Rivers Duo: Look, sea bears, can’t we just work something out?
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Contact (DS)
Reviews by Matt Gardner on In most role-playing games, you take on the role of a particular character and play as him throughout his adventure, commanding his every action. But really you are just a player, controlling a char